First love – Page 2 – Love in India

How to Propose a Girl on Facebook – Part 1

So you’re dating online? And you’ve been so successful that you now want to propose a girl on Facebook? Great. I know you’d been waiting for some Golden Rules of Proposing a Girl on Facebook for quite some time (if the search phrases which bring you to this website are anything to go by ;)). And your day has finally come.

Today’s post is the first part of a two-part series on how to propose a girl on Facebook. But before going into the exact methods of proposing a girl on Facebook, I’ve decided to lay down some basic rules of Facebook dating. I cannot emphasize the importance of these rules enough when it comes to striking the right chord with a girl you’ve met on The Social Network.

I know, ’cause I got hitched through Facebook.

Photo by www.Craftsquatch.com

Propose a girl on Facebook Rule#1. Watch her profile

We keep a tab on our friends’ updates but we typically don’t check their “About” and “Liked pages” much. Go through every detail in her profile carefully. This would help her know her as a person – her tastes, preferences, beliefs and worldview. The rule of thumb is that you should know every piece of info about her that is available in public domain (The “public domain” bit is important. Stalking is not recommended. ;)) Use this info in online conversations with her. When your knowledge of her as a person shows through, she’d know you’re really – like really – interested in her. Talk about doing a thorough research on a potential employer before interviewing with them? ;)

Propose a girl on Facebook Rule#2. Watch your albums

Go through you albums. If there’s any photo which you wouldn’t want her to see (e.g. those of your ex-girlfriend, or documentation of the effects of excessive amounts of alcohol on you. ;)), hide it. Disable your friends tagging you in photos if need be. Remember – this is not about painting a false picture of yours, but about making the efforts to impress her that she expects you to make. I for one would be disappointed if a guy expressing serious romantic interest in me lets his ex-girlfriend’s pictures hang out there. Does that mean I expect him to have had zero relationships in the past? No. It means I expect him to put in efforts to impress me, and he’s falling short.

Photo by P@ttu

Propose a girl on Facebook Rule#3. Don’t brag

One of the top dating mistakes men make is trying to impress her too directly – in other words, through sheer bragging. Facebook has come to provide the official bragging forum to many, but when it comes to impressing a girl “First promotion within the first two years – check!” is not the best status message to post. If you’re itching to post some recent development in your life that you’re proud of, don’t. Tell her personally instead. Being the first person to know about it will make her feel special.

Propose a girl on Facebook Rule#4. Be who you are

An oft-repeated but crucial rule of dating – online or otherwise – is being genuine. Your Facebook profile – all public info, status updates, photos – should paint the true picture of you as a person. Now does that mean you make all your personal info public? No. If you’re uncomfortable sharing any info, remain silent, but don’t try to paint a false picture. A guy I’d met had a Facebook date of birth three years later than his real one. No prizes for guessing we didn’t proceed much. Painting a false picture gets you only till the first few face-to-face meetings, no further. ;)

Propose a girl on Facebook Rule#5. Stop random tagging

Don’t tag her on your aesthetically profound works of photography, performed with domesticated and wild forms of photography around you (i.e. photos of your cute dog and the creeper around your window grills). No one likes to get 47 notifications a day. The only thing over-tagging can earn you is irritation from her.

Have you ever dated anyone through Facebook? How did it go? Share your experiences through comments as you wait for How to Propose a Girl on Facebook – Part 2.

Does She Like Me? The 7 (More) Signs

There’s this cute guy/girl you’ve met at school/work/through friends. You two seem to get along really well together. They like you, but you’re not sure if they *like*like you.

If you’re a girl, we’ve already chat about this.

But then your male counterparts started asking the same question.
To all you guys, hoping to have won the heart of a beautiful maiden, here are some signs you should look for when trying to decide whether you’re right, or just another hopeful in her long list. ;)

Photo by 2-Dog-Farm

The eyes: Have you noticed her eyes when she looks at you? What do you read? If things are going for you, you should be able to see an unmistakable glow of embarrassed happiness in there. If her eyes are unable to hold your gaze and flutters here and there as she talks to you, congratulations.
The smile: If that was too confusing, there are easier giveaways you can watch out for. Those thousand splendid Suns for example. The unique smile she flashes you, not the book. This smile is not like the others. The next time you see a girl flashing you a custom light-up-the-whole-room smile, make no mistake – something is up. ;)
The girly gossip: When she’s with her friends, she always finds some excuse to mention you every now and then. They may not know “officially” that she has a crush on you, but practically everyone knows about it. ;)
The diva: Suddenly she starts paying more attention to her appearance. Especially when she knows she’d meet you. But of course none of her newly acquired accessories adds nearly as much to her beauty as the glow of a new crush writ large on her face.
The excitement: When she meets you she seems a bit confused. Like she doesn’t know what she’s saying. Mildly breathless. Mildly incoherent. Out-of-control excited but failing embarrassingly at hiding it.
The stress: Have you ever met her just after you’d been talking and laughing with other girls? Did her face look like someone had died? Or like someone was about to die? Badly concealed green jealousy when you talk to other girls is one of the surest signs of a really BIG crush. ;)
The hurt: Don’t call/ping/text her for a few days. If the reaction seems just a tad more intense than expected (i.e. starting with talking about how popular you are and ending in sniffles, possibly), there might be something just a tad more than friendship in her heart for you.

Yeah … yeah… I know…I know…

Some of you are nodding your head and saying, “My girlfriend never showed any of these signs.”

Exactly. That’s what the comment section is for. J

How to Flirt with a Girl – 5 Rules for Flirting with Indian Girls

How to Flirt – 5 Rules for Flirting with Indian Girls

“How to flirt with the girl at school/college/work I’ve started liking? Please help. I don’t know where to start from.”

After What to do? My parents are not agreeing to my marriage!! and Should I break up??, the commonly asked question which I’ve decided to tackle today is “How to flirt with Indian girls?”

If I were not allowed to respond to that with more than just ONE sentence, that sentence would be:

Women like men, not boys.

Photo by diemolu

All the rules of my How to Flirt With Indian Women 101 which I’m going to lay down below are derivative of this one basic rule.

#1.Start flirting with her online

Most guys feel shy to start a conversation with a girl face to face. If you’re wondering “How to flirt with a girl if facing her makes me nervous?” – don’t worry; turn to online chat (even if you know your girl in real life). Not having to face or directly talk to the girl you like takes the pressure off to a great extent and helps you be yourself, which is the first step of flirting successfully.

#2.Never show desperation while flirting with a girl

Nothing turns girls off more than under-confident desperation. I’ve already talked about this in the discussion on how to impress girls. It’s equally pertinent to the one on how to flirt with girls. Don’t be apologetic for taking her time (girls hate that). Don’t ping her saying “hi”. Ping her saying, “Hi XYZ! How’re you doing?” In case she doesn’t reply the first time you ping her, never use the same opening line the next time. Start by something like, “Hey XYZ! The ABC video you’d shared was hilarious. Where did you find it?” It shows you’re not talking to her because you’re desperate, but because you’ve got something real to say. You get the point.

#3.Don’t give it ALL

A corollary of point #2 is – don’t be her dog. You’re flirting with your girl; you’re not her boyfriend yet. You need to attract her first, before you show her how responsible you are. So while flirting with a girl, don’t be the oh-so-caring I’ll-do-anything-for-you-including-daily-chores man-in-waiting of hers – that can wait for life after marriage. :P For now, that kind of behaviour will make her like you as a friend and a pet – not as a man she feels attracted to.

#4.Complimenting her is a must

If you want to successfully flirt with a girl – especially an Indian girl – striking a balance between sounding hungry and sounding bold is key. Don’t start with, “Hey! You’re looking hot in that photo you recently posted. ;)” On the other hand, if it has been a week that you’ve started talking/chatting with her and you haven’t actually gotten around to complimenting her even once yet, chances are you’re not going anywhere. Compliments don’t always have to be on her looks. And they need to sound natural, casual and confident. Which brings me to …

Photo by CubaGallery

#5.Test waters continuously while flirting with a girl

Each girl has her distinct level of comfort with flirting. Some stop talking to you if you call them hot, while some feel offended if you don’t. ;) Continuously test her limits while flirting with a girl. Try a hint, like, “You’re the most interesting girl I know.” If she responds favourably (favourable responses include :P ;) J), after a few days try, “Of late I’ve started looking forward to you coming online every day.” If that goes ok too, try, “If you were not so busy, I’d have loved to go for a coffee with you sometime.” You get the point. You need to be bold enough fast enough to hold her interest, while making sure you don’t offend her.

What are the golden rules which worked when you started flirting with your girl? Let me know by leaving a comment.

“Does He Like Me?” Heed These 7 Signs

She’s reached her limits. After the deadly dose of ten excruciating helpings, her nerves just won’t take any more of it.

Any more of my Valentine’s Day posts, that is.

She – the mingleness-aspiring single – has threatened to break up with Love in India, if we continue to ignore her existence in the way we have (she alleges) over the last ten Valentine’s Day posts (or two weeks).

Photo by Staydazzled

With that gun pointed at my head, I’ve quickly decided to tackle the question she keeps asking me but I didn’t get a chance to answer as apparently I was “too busy chatting up the Valentines”. The question is:

“Does he like me?”

Without risking any more of her patience, I’ll jump right into the answer.

Talks to you without any reason: Does he keep pinging/texting you but it always seems to be “for no particular reason”? Most guys feel a little shy and nervous around the girl they like. This makes them beat about the bush when they’re talking to her. If a guy seems to really like talking to you, but it’s never “about” anything, watch out.
Gets nervous around you: Next time you’re around him, ask yourself – “Does he like me?” and look for the answer in his body language. Have you noticed how he behaves? That shifty look and blushy smile? Those longing eyes which won’t stop staring at you if it seemed you were not looking? Shy attraction, coupled with an inability to be open and relaxed usually means he might have something going for you.
Concerned for you: He shows a lot of concern at the slightest sign of any trouble for you.
“You didn’t come to college today. Are you alright??”

“What? You lost your notebook? I’ll keep mine photocopied and give it to you first thing tomorrow.”

If he’s one who doesn’t hesitate to involve himself in your troubles just to help you out – he definitely has a thing for you.

Tries to find out if you have a boyfriend: He likes you, so he’s shy around you, so he won’t ask you anything directly. But watch out for questions like:

“What do you like doing on weekends?”

“Oh you watched that movie in the theatre? Did you go with your friends?”

“What are your future plans?”

While innocent on the surface, the translation of these might read a bit like this:

“Do you have a boyfriend who you hang out with in the weekends?”

“Do you have a boyfriend who you go to movies with?”

“Do you have a boyfriend who you’re planning a future with??? L L”

Look no further and ask no more, “Does he like me?”
Asks you how to get a girl: Once he’s started to lose is shyness a bit, he tells you that he’s looking for a girl. He describes the attributes of his ideal girl, which – needless to say – match perfectly with yours’. He even asks you if you know someone who would fit his bill.
If a guy is telling you to find you a girl for him who’s just like you, rest assured – he’s fallen for you.
All his interests seem to match yours: Whenever you mention some interest of yours, he usually echoes.
“Oh Tom Hanks is my favourite actor too.”

“What a coincidence! Before you mentioned it I would never think someone from our generation could be as mad about ghazals as I am!”

Photo by chicago red cross

If it seems all his interests are miraculously aligned to you, he’s probably quite into you.
If you flirt with others…: There’s this guy you’re really good friends with. You often hang out with him. But whenever you mention him to Mr. Mystery, he falls silent for a moment and then changes the topic. If you’re wondering why, here’s the answer: He’s jealous. Now do you really need to ask again – “Does he like me??” ;)

Okay, Miss. Mingle-minded single? Does that make sense? Would you come back and tell me if they worked? The comments section’s all open for you.

I’ll go try to calm my nerves now. The break-up threat was really a scare.

Valentine’s Day Card Workshop 7 – The Tajmahal of My Love

Here’s #7 – the final one in Love in India special series of DIY Valentine’s Day Cards, which are exquisite, original and all take less than 10 minutes to make. I call today’s card “The Tajmahal of My Love.” You’ll find out why.

Things you’ll need:

1. Heart-shaped post-its of two different colours. (alternatively, ordinary post-its of two different colours)

2. Scissors.

3. A pencil.

4. Glue

5. Coloured pens (Optional, for decoration)

Valentine’s Day card 7 step 1: Take 2 sets of 3 heart-shaped post-its each (of two different colours). Or make heart-shaped post-its from ordinary post-its as shown in Valentine’s Day Card Workshop 2.

Valentine’s Day card 7 step 2: Take one of the sets and draw the tail of a smaller heart (inside the boundaries of the heart-shaped paper). It’s not necessary to draw the entire heart. Now cut along the line so that each of the 3 post-its in this set have a slit in the shape of the tail of a heart.

Valentine’s Day card 7 step 3: Fit one post-it from the other set into each of the slits (don’t attach with glue). Then mark out two points on the joint spine, equidistant from the two ends. Then draw two lines parallel to the two shoulders, through this point. Repeat this for each of the three pairs.

Valentine’s Day card 7 step 4: Write your favourite love quote on each heart. They should remain below the lines you’ve drawn. In the hearts with the slits, they should also remain within the (imaginary) smaller heart whose tail lies along the slit. Like this:

Valentines Day Card 7 step 5: Make eight strips of coloured paper (you can cut these out from other similar post-its). These would serve as the pillars of my Tajmahal.

Valentines Day Card 7 step 6: Make little folds on both the ends of each strip and put glue on them.

Valentines Day Card 7 step 7: Now get to work building your Tajmahal, attaching the floors (the heart-shaped panels) with your pillars. Each heart will have two pillars attached to it, and only in the portion above the shoulder-lines you drew on each of them. This will ensure that the pillar don’t interfere with the quotes. Make sure all the quote-ed sides face the same side in both the sets.

Valentines Day Card 7 step 8: Let me see how dextrous you are with your fingers as you now fit the un-slit hearts into the slit-ed ones. J This is how it will look from the top when your Tajmahal is done. Note how there’s no hint of the quotes when you look at your Tajmahal from the top. More about that later.

Top View:

Bottom View:

Valentines Day Card 7 step 9: Present your sweetheart with your Tajmahal and tell them, “Go on. Blow up the palace of my love.” All your feelings will be tumbling out in the form of your quotes when they blow it up.

Like that? No? Let me know in any case by leaving a comment. :)

Valentine’s Day Card Workshop 6 – My Heart Beats for You

Here’s #6 – the last but one DIY Card in Love in India special series of hand-made Valentine’s Day Cards, which is always the best gift you could ever give your sweetheart.
Like all of my DIY projects, this one shouldn’t take more than 10 minutes of your time.
“My Heart Beats for You”– that’s what your sweetheart will say when they receive this very special gift from you.

Things you’ll need:

1. Heart-shaped post-its of two different colours. (alternatively, ordinary post-its of two different colours)

2. Scissors.

3. A pencil.

4. Glue

5. Coloured pens (Optional, for decoration)

Valentine’s Day card 6 step 1: Take four heart-shaped post-its ( I leave the colour selection to you – they can be of same or different colours, or a combination of sets of two…go nuts ;)). You can also mheart-shaped post-its from ordinary post-its as shown in Valentine’s Day Card Workshop 2.

Valentine’s Day card 6 step 2: Fill them up with your favourite love quotes.

Valentine’s Day card 6 step 3: Make 6 strips of coloured paper from post-its. These will serve as the muscles and arteries which hold your heart together. ;)

Valentine’s Day card 6 step 4: Make little folds on both the ends of each strip and put glue on them.

Valentines Day Card 6 step 5: Now string your heart together, attaching the valves (which are nothing but your love, I mean the heart-shaped post-its with your quotes on them) with the arteries (the strips). You’ll first choose a base heart, and then stick the six strips (here onwards called pillars) in such a way that you can attach three other hearts to it – one on each side – to eventually create a 3D heart.
So here are two pillars stuck on to the two rounded peaks near the head of the base heart. In addition there are two pairs of parallel pillars on each of the sides of the base heart.

Here’s what it looks like:

Valentines Day Card 6 step 6: And then … yes you’ve guessed it right – put glue on the fronts of each of the pillars and stick on a heart on each pair. Like this:

Here’s your final beating heart.

Valentines Day Card 6 step 7: You must be wondering why I have left out the folded ends of the pillar strips. They’re there, so that if you want, you can put glue on them and stick your beating heart on to a greeting card as a decoration. Like this:

Hey! Don’t judge me by the artistic expressions manifested by the greeting card. It’s just a sample. ;)

Valentine’s Day Card Workshop 5 – Chains of Love

Here’s #5 in Love in India special series of DIY Valentine’s Day Cards. Their speciality is that while they’re all exquisite (which you’ll get in many DIY sites around the web), they’re also original and most importantly – each take less than 10 minutes to make (which you’ll not get anywhere else ;)). Today’s is called “Chains of Love”. Here’s the final version.

Things you’ll need:

1. Heart-shaped post-its of two different colours. (alternatively, ordinary post-its of two different colours)

2. Scissors.

3. A pencil.

4. Glue

5. Coloured pens (Optional, for decoration)

Valentine’s Day card 5 step 1: Choose heart shaped post-its of two different colours. Or make heart-shaped post-its from ordinary post-its as shown in Valentine’s Day Card Workshop 2.Take 4 of each. Each set of 4 post-its is used for making one chain link. So we’re choosing 8 post-its for making a basic 2 link chain. If you want to make a longer, more gorgeous chain, you can choose any number of post-its as long as it’s a multiple of four.

Valentine’s Day card 5 step 2: Make 8 equally sized coloured strips of paper. These would serve as the links in the chains of hearts.

Valentine’s Day card 5 step 3: Put glue on the two ends of each strip and use them to connect two heart-shapes each. You now have the basic units of the two chain links.

Valentine’s Day card 5 step 4: Decorate each chain link with your favourite quote on each post-it.

Valentines Day Card 5 step 5: Complete the first chain link by connecting the first post-it with the 4th, with the help of a connecting strip.

Valentines Day Card 5 step 6: Complete the next chain link through the first. You now have a complete chain of love.

Valentines Day Card 5 step 7: Fold up the entire thing. It will make it look like a clumsy compilation of quotes to the person receiving your gift. I’m sure you can imagine their surprise when they open it up and see your gorgeous chain of love.

Valentines Day Card 5 step 8: Alternatively you can create the two links separately and use them as love bands to be worn around the wrist.

Like that? No? Let me know in any case by leaving a comment. :)

My Valentine’s Day 2: “The Mysterious Event Which Occurred One Valentine’s Day…”

Hi friends. I’m Anuradha Mallick. You wouldn’t have heard of Mogra – the little town about an hour and a half away from Kolkata where I grew up – or my school, Dr. B.C. Roy High School. It’s here that I first heard about Valentine’s Day – or “Vegetable Day” as it was known among the kids back then.

Photo by Anuradha Mallik

To us, it meant gossip. Loads of it.

Who got the maximum number of proposals from boys?

Who accepted?

Who rejected?

Who got the most candy?

Gifts???

Ah the days of childhood.

I had to leave them behind though (don’t we all?), and went on to earn my B. Tech. (still battling its final throes), along with pursuing my dreams of becoming a photographer.

Photo by Anuradha Mallik

I was in my 2^nd year when it happened.

It was 14^th Feb. I was about to go out for a jog, when I discovered it just by the door.

A box full of chocolates, and a bunch of exquisite red roses. No note. No sign.

No guys, I don’t have a photo of those mysterious objects. The world was not so click-o-manic back then. At least ours wasn’t. But I digress…

Expectedly, it was a shock. I can’t deny that sudden flutter in my stomach and that hot feeling on my cheeks. I strived to tell myself that it may not be for me, but I knew it was. A rush of confused feelings flooded my system. Happiness. Panick. Dizziness. Excitement.

Unfortunately my first surprise Valentine’s Day gifts had to end up in the wild bushes behind our home. Bringing them in would’ve raised eyebrows. And I didn’t want to be asked pointed questions about my non-existent boyfriend.

The next year my anonymous admirer surprised me with his intimate knowledge of my taste of chocolates – I got a bar of Bourneville and one of Crackle that year, which I’d acquired a taste for only shortly before.

Another year my niece discovered my present, went wild with juvenile curiosity and got me into trouble by somehow managing to involve my parents. It was hilarious.

In hindsight.

…

I still receive my roses and box of chocolates every Valentine’s Day. The sender is still elusive. I’m still searching.

Photo by Anuradha Mallik

Note: Anuradha is one of the first and most ardent fans of Love in India. She’s also one of the few budding photographer friends whose photos I love. Do check out her page Anuradha Mallick photography for a taste of her talents.

Valentine’s Day Card Workshop 4 – Wanna Hide You in My Heart

As promised, here’s #4 in Love in India special series of DIY Valentine’s Day Cards, each of which take less than 10 minutes to make.

Things you’ll need:

1. Plain paper

2. Scissors.

3. A pencil.

4. Glue

5. Coloured pens (Optional, for decoration)

Valentine’s Day card 4 step 1: Take two identical square pieces of paper.

Valentine’s Day card 4 step 2: Keep one aside. Fold the other one into half, like this:

Valentine’s Day card 4 step 3: Fold it twice such that eventually there are three creases across its length and breadth, intersecting at a common point at the centre.

Valentine’s Day card 4 step 4: Join the mid-points of the four sides to draw a square, touching each side of the paper at the mid-point.

Valentines Day Card 4 step 5: Fold it along the diagonal, and draw half a heart on one of the sides, using the inner square as a reference.

Valentines Day Card 4 step 6: We are going to draw many “parallel” hearts inside this outer heart. Let us start by marking the starting and ending points of each heart on the spine of the outermost heart. Make the equidistant from each other, leaving out space for the innermost heart in the centre.

Valentines Day Card 4 step 7: Draw the hearts, one inside the other, as identical as possible.

Valentines Day Card 4 step 8: Now the trickiest part. Each heart has to be cut out from the head and left joined with the others at the tail, or vice versa. Each heart has to be cut in alternate directions – one from head to tail, the next from tail to head. Like this.

For your convenience, I have marked out the alternate directions of cutting on the first two hearts (don’t repeat this unless you want to leave out awkward red arrows on your special valentine’s day card!). Note that each red line as an ending point marked with a prominent red dot.

Each heart is to be cut only till its respective ending point, to leave it joined with the rest of the paper. This will create the layered effect you can see in the final version.

Like the layers? :)

Valentines Day Card 4 step 9: Now stick the square piece of paper with the layers at the centre on to the other identical square you’d kept aside.

…Such that your message can’t be read without opening the layers…

Experiment with the graphics. :)

Valentine’s Day Card Workshop 3 – The Maze of My Love

Here are we with the 3rd in the series of Valentine’s Day Card Workshops. Today’s folds of love are called The Maze of My Love and here’s what they look like.

Read on if you want to convey your love to your sweetheart through this sweet maze of your feelings.

Things you’ll need:

1. Plain paper

2. Scissors.

3. A pencil.

4. Coloured pens (Optional, for decoration)

Valentine’s Day card 3 step 1: Cut a strip of plain white paper and crease it in a series of folds, like this.

Valentine’s Day card 3 step 2: Fold it up and draw a heart shape on one of the top faces, which you’re going to cut out.

Valentine’s Day card 3 step 3: Cut out the whole strip in the shape of a heart. Make sure the edges (where each plane of paper is joined with others in the strip) are intact.

Valentines Day Card 2 step 4: Smooth out the oblong edges to give the hearts a full, rounded look.

Now you have the base for the maze of your love.

Valentines Day Card 3 step 5: Colour it as you like. I’ve simply chosen two colours for the two sides. You can also choose a different colour for each heart-shaped petal.

Valentines Day Card 3 step 6: Choose your favourite quotes. Or just make them up. Write a different quote/message in each petal.

Fold it up neatly. And you have the “Maze of your love” ready for surprising someone!

Do let me know what you think of this one by leaving a comment. :)