Relationship troubles – Page 5

14 Signs: Is My Boyfriend Cheating on Me?

Are you of late wondering if something has changed in your relationship? Does it seem to you that your boyfriend doesn’t love you anymore? Is it possible that he’s cheating on you? This article brings to you fourteen powerful signs to tell if he’s cheating.

Photo by starush

1.Use your woman’s intuition

You have a gut feeling that something is wrong. The old spark that used to spring up into his eyes and smile on seeing you, is missing. Never ignore your woman’s 6th sense when it comes to the fidelity of your boyfriend.

2.Too many gifts

He never bought you so many gifts in your entire relationship as he did last month! This is his guilty mind trying to compensate you for what he’s doing to you.

3.Criticizing the lover

There’s someone you both know who you’re boyfriend is continually criticizing of late. Of course no affair could be going on between him and her, for God’s sake, right? Wrong. He’s just trying to make you come to that conclusion by criticizing her, who’s actually his secret lover.

4.No missing you

He doesn’t seem to miss you at all when you’re not with him. Earlier he used to call you five times a day. You used to meet almost every day. Nowadays he almost never calls you.

5.Missed calls

Sometimes when you call him, he lets the phone ring or rejects your call. Later gives unconvincing explanations.

6.Irritability, rudeness

He seems irritated all the time-anything and everything you do seems to make him angry. He’s rude with you all the time regarding trivial matters.

7.Mood swings

He’s of late earned the title of “Mr. Mood Swing”. Today he’s showing you so much affection and buying you gifts. Yesterday he made you cry with his rude words regarding something totally inconsequential. While you may be surprised by his mood swings, it’s a common effect of cheating. On the one had he’s feeling guilty about cheating you, and so trying to make it up to you. On the other he basically just can’t stand to spend time with you, because he’s not in love with you anymore, but he has to, because you’re still a couple, and this makes him very irritated inside.

8.No compliments

Earlier he would just look at you with mesmerized eyes for 10 seconds and comment that he was luckiest man alive as he has the most beautiful woman in the world as his girlfriend. But of late he’s just stopped complimenting you on your looks.

9.Email privacy

You never bothered keeping secrets from each other. You would check your emails in front of each other and leave the email account open, because you had nothing to hide from each other. Nowadays however, if you chance upon his open email account he rushes to close it and lectures you about individual privacy.

10.Password change

Some couples share email passwords. If you’re one of them, he’ll invariably change his password at this point of time. You’ll notice maybe many days after he’s actually changed it. If you ask him about it it’ll be the old “Privacy” lecture again.

11.Cell phone privacy

Same applies to his cell phone. You remember frequently teasing him saying, “Now I’m going to blow the lid off your other affairs,” and then taking his cell phone and going through all messages, only to find messages from his friends and mum. Then both of you would laugh and hug and kiss. These days his cell phone is apparently another fortress of his privacy, not to be touched by you.

12.Overreacting to inquiries

If you make perfectly normal and everyday inquiries like, “Hey honey! Where are you now?” or “We couldn’t meet last weekend because you were busy at work. So how’s the current project coming along?”, he becomes very defensive and accuses you for being over-suspicious, leaving you dumbfounded and wondering, “Suspicions about his fidelity weren’t even there at the darkest cranny of my mind…”

13.Talks of break-up

When you quarrel he frequently talks about ending the relationship, unlike before. The other day when you had a tiny tiff he said, “If you do that again don’t expect me to be with you anymore.” It was a horrible shock to you. That night you spent an hour crying into your pillow. If he’s cheating then this is an outcome of him not being in love with you anymore, and secondly of him having a fallback option.

14.Doesn’t say “I love you”

Do you remember when was the last time he said “I love you” to you? Yeah, it was around the same time that you last felt that spark in his eyes, that radiance in his smile, that eagerness in his kisses. Of late it seems that he’s there, but not really there. Emotionally he seems miles away from you.
A rule of thumb could be checking if about five or more of the above symptoms are there in your relationship. If so, don’t be too devastated to talk to your boyfriend about it, ‘cause there’s always a chance that the reason is something else. And what if you find out that he’s actually cheating? That’s the topic of another post. Meanwhile, leave a reply to tell me your thoughts.

8 Signs: Is my Boyfriend/Girlfriend Serious About Our Relationship?

Is my boyfriend/girlfriend serious about our relationship?
You’ve been sad for months. You have given your heart and soul to your boyfriend/girlfriend, you’re convinced they’re the man/woman of your dreams but they don’t quite seem to reciprocate your feelings. Do they feel the same about you as you feel about them? Read on to find out.

1.Meet my friend Neha!

Does your boyfriend/girlfriend refer to you as a “friend” instead of their “girlfriend (boyfriend)”/ “fiancé” to most outsiders? It’s true that in India some people are embarrassed to admit that they’re in a relationship. But you can make out whether the real reason behind your boyfriend/girlfriend’s denial of your relationship is shyness or something else. Especially if you’ve brought this up with them already and they’re still insisting on trying to deny your existence as their boyfriend/girlfriend, it may be time to be alert.

2.Take your hands off me or get killed!

They’re uneasy being seen in public with you. They’re seriously offended if you even hold their hand while you’re outside. They once quarreled with you for kissing them on the cheek in front of others. Their attitude hurts you a lot. But you’re trying to “understand them”, to “adjust”. You’re telling yourself, “We just happen to have been born with different levels of shyness.” But what you’re choosing to overlook is that if someone’s really in love with you they’ll certainly not cause your suffering knowingly. Another telltale sign.

3.Relationship status: Single!

They refuse to mention their relationship with you under “relationship status” in Facebook/Orkut. When you enquire about it they give insubstantial excuses like they don’t want other people to know everything about their life, they have their relatives/parents on their friend-list who they don’t want to know about their relationship, etc. There’s something that you should know here. One of the litmus tests of being in love is feeling proud of it and wanting to tell everyone about it. (It’s just this instinct of people in love which the social networks have harnessed with their “relationship status” feature!)

4.Meeting parents? Not yet.

You’ve never met or talked to anyone from their family even though you’ve been in relationship for quite some time now. If you express interest in meeting them your partner says, “Ok we’ll do it next weekend,” but that weekend never comes. They might try many variations of excuses-“My family is rather conservative”, “It’s better to tell them just before marriage,” “We’re from different castes/sub-castes/races, I need some time before I can bring it up with my parents,” etc.

5.Your friends & family who?

They never ask you about your family, how you grew up, who are your friends etc. Even if they’ve met your friends they’ve not seemed too interested in them. And if you’ve gotten a chance to find out-they’ve not remembered the names of most of them. Lack of interest in things closely associated with your whole being-your childhood, your family and your friends-indicates lack of interest in the person that’s YOU! If they’re not interested in understanding you, they probably don’t have too many plans regarding your relationship.

6.You dance Odissi? Or Salsa?

Along the same lines as point #5, they’re not interested at all in your passions and hobbies. Do you find yourself reminding them to read your blog again and again? Are you sad about the fact that they’ve never asked you about your favorite genre of music? Do they often fail to even remember what your hobby is? Doesn’t sound like your potential life-partner to me.

7.Boom! Watch out for the splinters of our plans!

You’ve planned for months and weeks for a nice little beach getaway during the Diwali holidays which you’d decided on together. All this while you’ve been telling them of your plans with great enthusiasm and joy and anticipation. Come Diwali and boom! They just blow up your plans (and you, in the process). They’ve just decided not to go away from their family during this auspicious period. They’ve just decided to use this break for getting up to speed on their studies. You’re of course devastated. But who cares?

8.Did I tell you I was moving to New York?

They never consult you on major decisions-decisions which you’d ideally like to take together. They inform you after making the decisions, when you’re left gaping, thinking, “I never had wind of it!” If it’s something you don’t agree with, they reason it’s too late to change their decision now.
If your partner displays any of the above symptoms it’s time you brought it up with them and talked about it openly. If they show four or more of the eight behaviors mentioned above, they’re probably not thinking of a future with you. If you’ve become emotionally involved with them bring it up with them NOW. Tell them openly that you’re convinced that they’re not serious about the relationship and you are. Suggest taking some time off from each other for re-assessing what each of you want from the relationship.
Don’t agree with me? Why don’t you leave a reply to let me know?

How to Impress Your Girlfriend

Are you in a relationship and want to understand her better? Do you want to know what she wants from you? Do you sometimes wish someone gave you a magic window into her world? Here are the top 10 ways to impress her and have a fulfilling relationship.

1.Make her laugh.

Yes the old saying is true. Girls do adore men with a sense of humour.

2.Compliment her on her looks.

It makes us feel feminine. A romantic relationship with a man is first of all a celebration of a girl’s femininity, which is pampered when you appreciate her beauty. But don’t fake it. Praise her looks only at those moments when she looks particularly attractive to you (we all have them).

3.Surprises.

Give her small surprises every once in a while. A simple “I’m thinking of you” e-card or a short handwritten love-letter can do the trick. We love romantic surprises because they make us feel special. A small gesture will make her feel that she’s always on your mind, that she is not lost somewhere among your mental layers.

4.Give her due attention.

Make it a point to spend sufficient time together every day. If you don’t meet every day, call. If you’re one of those men who need space, who don’t enjoy talking to their girlfriends for hours over the phone or if you’re just plain busy, make the calls shorter but don’t forget to call every day. When you’re hanging up apologize for not being able to spend more time with her. Failing to give each other due attention can become the first nail in the coffin of your relationship, especially if there’s expectation mismatch with regard to this on a continued basis. If you genuinely are too busy to find much leisure any time in the near future, this is probably not the right time for you to start a relationship.

5.Too many gifts?

Do you often find yourself presenting her with material gifts? Do you find her sullen if you haven’t gifted her anything in a while? In that case be warned-she certainly doesn’t love you. In fact even if your girlfriend never asks for gifts and really is in love with you, it’s not wise to make expensive gifts a regular part of your relationship. You know why? Because you want her to be with you only as long as she’s in love with you. If you create other incentives for being with you, chances are she’ll hang around (read make a fool of you by cheating you into believing that she loves you) even if she’s not in love with you at some future point of time.

6.Don’t play too hard to get.

If you think you can get more attention from her by playing hard to get, think again. Certainly a relationship is not the only thing in anyone’s life or mind, and neither should it be, for it to remain healthy. But if you resort to deliberate cheap tactics like not taking her calls most of the time, trying to show her that she doesn’t deserve your attention etc., then there’s a problem. Sure, these will work for a while since it’s human nature to think what’s hard to get is more valuable. But eventually she’ll leave you. That’s certain. And that’s because everything wilts, wanes and dies if it’s not nurtured, and her love for you would, too. (Unless, of course, she’s with you for any other reason than being in love with you, e.g. your money or social status! And in that case you want her to leave you as soon as possible!)

7.Don’t be too easy to get.

Unfortunately the other side of the principle I mentioned above is that it’s also human nature to be unable to value something that comes easily to us. When I was a child I used to take out all my anger on my mother, who literally is the best mum in the world and made innumerable sacrifices for me, like all mothers. Thus becoming the carpet beneath her feet (not protesting even if she’s rude to you or even physically violent with you, trying to protect her from the outside world, doing her work etc.) is not a good strategy either.

8.Parents matter.

Be respectful to her parents. This is a must, because family is something very close to our hearts. So showing disrespect to her parents is showing disrespect to her. If you disagree with them on certain points or you don’t want to accept some of their attitudes then bring it up with her in a mature, respectful, objective way. Don’t even think about making rude or insulting comments about them. Even when you’re quarrelling.

9.Don’t be controlling.

Are you dying to know the password of her email account? Do you feel a bit tensed when she’s not with you, wondering what she’s doing, who she’s meeting and who she’s spending her time with? Do you find yourself clenching your fists and gritting your teeth when you see her photos with her male friends on Facebook? If you choke her like this she’ll soon need breathing space. And that’ll give rise to lies, suspicions and eventually a grossly unhealthy relationship. The modern woman has to go out, work, meet people and have a world of her own. If you can’t accept that you’d better start working on your own attitude.

10.Male chauvinist?

Do you in any way feel that there are ways in which women are lesser than men (apart from physical strength)? In that case don’t hope to be in relationship with any self-respecting adult woman until you’re able to change your beliefs. We can feel even 0.1% of female-condescending attitude. If it’s a serious relationship and you’re planning on a life with your girlfriend, she’s going to be your life-partner. You’ll each be a parent of your children. If you’re unable to give each other exactly as much importance as you’d give yourself, then it’s detrimental to your relationship and future family.
Do you think I missed out any point? Leave a comment to let me know. :)