Dating – Love in India

Key Differences Between Western and Slavic Females

Every Western man, regardless of nationality, heard stories about the beauty of the Slavs. Some people believe this is a myth, but some are convinced that this is true and aspire to marry Ukrainian woman. We are convinced that the truth is somewhere in the middle. A lot of socio-cultural and psychological research, as well as the emergence of the internet, which almost erased the boundaries between the Western and Eastern worlds, gave us the opportunity to study this topic and provide you with the most objective review of the differences between Slavs and Western women.

Photo by Tom Merton

Features of the Mentality of Slavic Females

Respect for men

The main distinguishing feature of the character of the Slavs, which can be seen at a close acquaintance, is a special attitude towards a man, as an unofficial leader in all aspects of life. Even if the relationship between a man and a woman is purely friendly (or even businesslike), the Slavic women show a great respect for a man. Of course this is more of a characteristic of married couples. Historically, almost all Slavic peoples had a patriarchal social structure, where the opinion of the man was key. Today, such a clear division has long been absent, but respect for men has been preserved subconsciously.

Appearance

Reasonable people think that the folklore about the large proportion of beautiful women among the Slavic peoples is not objective. However, a great many of Slavic women indeed are exquisite and have an attractive figure. Therefore, the popularity of Russians, Ukrainians and Belarusians among Western men has a strong “external” foundation. It is also worth noting that the beauty of Slavic women is built on individuality. They rarely try to copy the style and appearance of famous actresses and models, as Europeans and Americans often do, but prefer to stand out among other women. Although not all men like this.

The family

The family is a sacred connection for Slavic women. They have retained the concept of “family hearth” in its original form and do not allow anyone from outside to influence this. For most Slavic women (especially the older generation) raising children is the main purpose of life. Slavic mothers bring up children in a spirit of respect and discipline. They teach children to work hard and respect the elders. Slavs rarely aspire to become a “friend” to their child, since parental care for a future member of society is more important to them. It’s therefore no surprise that most Russians and Ukrainians prefer to see their parents as parents, not friends.

Jealousy

Slavic women are very jealous. If a woman sees at least the slightest hint of encroachment on her man, she will do everything to quickly remove the competitor from the picture. And if her husband or boyfriend gives her reason to be jealous, then it is better for him to run for his life and not argue. Their fierce jealousy is really just the other side of the coin of their unquestioned commitment to their man.

A Brief of Differences between Slavic and Western Women

We will not consider the mentality of Western women in detail since you already know everything. Instead of this, we wrote a short brief of differences between Russian and American girls that will help clarify the picture:

Photo by Alicia Woodward

Slavic females are indifferent to the ideas of feminism. Many of them even condemn it, which cannot be said about Western women.
Slavic women often prefer family, not career. A successful marriage and love are more important for them.
Western women dress the way they want. Slavic girls try to follow a certain dress code, which is not always understood by Western men
Slavic girls devote a considerable amount of time to their appearance. Western women are not so obsessed with this issue.
Slavic women are very active and hardworking. This may sound paradoxical, but Slavic men cannot boast of this. Western women are often more laid back.

Have you ever considered dating someone from the other side of the world? What’s your experience of mingling with the Eastern European people if any? Do let us know in the comments. We’ll wait to hear from you. Bye!

Romantic Relations at Work: Six Basic Rules of the Game

Recently, scientists have made a big discovery: Dating someone you work with is possible. With female colleagues, you can not only supervise, lead and perform other wonderful duties of an effective manager, but also have a good old romp between the sheets! Yes, all laboratory studies have confirmed this, so you can trust me. Today we’ll talk about how and when it is advisable to engage in such relationships (just don’t tell anyone that we told you how to date a coworker!). In addition, you will find out that it may be time to sleep with your boss … and we know that you have long dreamed about it. Enjoy reading!

“All the scientific theories of psychology, devoted to the nature of love and other relevant comforts of human existence, confirm: joint work is the best catalyst of sympathy, love and even passion,” says Amy Nicole Salvajo, assistant professor of psychology at the University of New Haven.

Photo by siewkumhong If you think about it, offices (and other working spaces) are literally ideal for romantic interactions. After all, they are filled with masculine and feminine creatures, spending eight hours a day side by side, having dinner together, and sometimes even parties. There is a dress code that requires you to look attractive (if you know how to tweak your corporate dress code to your advantage ;) ). In offices, there are coolers and snacks vending machines in secluded corners that could be great places for meeting. Therefore don’t be surprised when you find out your neighbor in the next cubicle is dating someone at work and probably waking up in the same bed with them!

There was a time when employers of all sizes struggled to regulate romantic relationships among employees. However today we see a slightly different picture. The hatchet, of course, is not yet buried, but the pit is already dug. Employers have discovered that it’s easier for them to pretend not to notice the potential intertwining of the destinies of their employees. And thank God for that because going against human nature is not very effective. And we all want to be “effective people managers” and “leaders of tomorrow” don’t we?

The opportunity to get to know someone well before starting to date is a huge plus for work romances. But before your mind gets busy fantasizing about dragging that secretary with a sensual mouth into a dark corner, be aware that workplace romance has its own unwritten rules. You should know how to date a coworker in the right way to avoid possible troubles.

Most men recognize them by going through trials, mistakes, public humiliations and even termination. But we have a better proposal: how about taking your lessons on dating someone at work from other people’s mistakes?

Keep it discreet

Most participants in any work collective usually hold negative views of an intimate relationship between a manager and his subordinate. Even if you accidently turned out to be matches using a senior dating service. The reason for this is clear: someone who is intimately involved with their boss is less trusted. After all, no one can be sure that you, in gratitude for a wonderful night, do not end up sharing your colleagues’ secrets with the boss.

Have you Decided to End the Relationship? Do it Quietly

We’re sorry to prick your balloon, but no matter how beautiful your new workplace relationship seems, it is statistically less likely to survive than to perish. More than 60% of workplace couples’ paths diverge during the first year and often with scandals.

But you’re smart and you aren’t going to avoid being one of them. Here’s how.

The best option: on the first date itself you should discuss what happens if you break up. This may seem strange, but this step will save you a lot of trouble.

Keep personal relations at home

The best thing you can do for your career is to forbid yourself once and for all to hold intimate conversations with your workplace partner during working hours. Even if she sits at a nearby table and you know that she’s wearing that special set of underwear for you.

The habit of keeping your personal life outside the office is especially useful when things aren’t going that great between the two of you. Yes, we know that it is almost impossible. However it is better to keep your differences under wraps till you get home.

No One-night stands

One-night stands are good only for people you meet in nightclubs. Even when you’re at it you know that the morning will come and in a few hours you will forget each other’s names. With a colleague this does not work. You will see each other every day, embarrassing each other and creating tension. This is sure to be noticed by someone. So if you decide to just have fun, you can eventually make yourself a dangerous and unpredictable enemy to your partner.

Put yourself in her shoes

Since you are dating a coworker, be ready for the fact that the colleague, with whom you started a romance, will begin to panic at some point.

“What will people think?”

The reality is that in such situations our society almost always judges a man less severely than a woman. You will look like a macho man, but for her things are different. Any label (including but not limited to those consisting of five letters, for example) might stick to her.

Therefore, if you are a gentleman, then don’t share your sexual conquests with your male colleagues.

We hope you are.

Defend Your Reputation

If you think that the Don Juan image will only give you dividends, think again. We don’t need to tell you that promiscuous men are treated with suspicion. By both women’s and men’s part of the team. So you may not want to develop a reputation for being a player at your workplace.

Have you ever been involved with anyone in your workplace? What’s your experience of office romance between your colleagues been like? Tell us about all that and more in the comments. Until next time, ciao ciao!

Are You Still Single? Here Are 7 Reasons Why

Usually, people don’t wonder whether there is a reason why you are still single and just complain about their loneliness and despair to find the right person. In most cases, people are single because they want to be single, they have a certain lifestyle and unconsciously do everything not to change it. They don’t really care about finding the love and saving close relationship. People want to love in their dreams more than to take responsibilities in the real world. There are many different reasons why personally you are single in this period of life, look at the below given cases that can remind you some familiar situations.

You have a tight schedule and almost no free time

Photo by Becky Wetherington You have got a promotion and now you have to work even more. When you have several free hours, you want nothing but to relax and to be in silence or to meet with your old best friends. Serious relationships require huge emotional investing, sometimes not less than climbing the career ladder. Single people get used to having free time that they can spend in accordance with their desire and not to spend it on building a new relationship with a potential partner. If you want to change the situation, you should change your mind about the free time.

You don’t know what you really want

You can be in searching for your own destiny or you are going to emigrate to another continent in the foreseeable future, to change your job and to start studying. You just have no time and desire to add one more challenge to the list, however, you suffer from being single and having no help. Now you need rather a housemaid, a cooker and a lover in one person than a beloved partner. Such a situation cannot last forever and your main goal will change, involving your private life.

You are not self-confident to have a partner

You look in the mirror and make a weird face because you are not satisfied with your appearance, your job and yourself in general. You don’t make yourself change the situation, change a way of life and a work place. You suffer from different consequences of the internal disharmony, starting from having no friends and ending with reluctance to have a close relationship. Maybe you are afraid that you will fall in love and a partner will break up with you. It is necessary to change yourself and take pleasure from the whole life.

You try to teach everyone

Photo by FAFPeople prefer to get pieces of advice only upon request and they hate when someone puts themselves above. Nobody cares about your experience and the success in life. People want to talk, to be heard and not to get some free lessons. Look fairly at yourself. Are you so successful and rich to teach everyone to live a better life? If you are not, stop doing that.

You are searching for a perfect partner

Have you already imagined an ideal person to the smallest detail? In any case, you should understand that this person lives only in your head, they are the result of your imagination. You can try to find them, but you can spend the whole life looking for them. You narrow the worldview and reduce your chances to meet a really good person.

You are a narcissist in the final stage

If you don’t stop considering you the most important person in the world, you will not find a beloved partner because all your love is concentrated around yourself. Stop thinking about only your wishes and look around. People want to get love back.

You don’t watch your appearance

People make their opinion at the first sight at your outfit and someone of them even doesn’t want to pay attention to your sharp mind. Nobody dreams about a bad-looking person. First, love yourself and then other people will love you.

Dating in India – Is it finally happening?

“Yeah that’s right. Don’t let your parents arrange your marriage. Don’t let your auntie/cousin create your matrimonial profile. How on earth am I supposed to get married if I happen to have not been lucky enough to just run into my soul mate accidentally??”

My vehement advocacy of freedom of choosing one’s life partner has landed me in trouble not once, not twice, but several times. To be frank, I kinda don’t mind.

But this was serious. My follower-cum-friend T wanted a real solution to a real problem: What about those who don’t “accidentally” find someone to fall in love with?

“Well, that’s why we have dating.” I offer, as we sip coffee together on a sunny Saturday afternoon. Separated by a few thousand miles. Typing away fiercely.

“Which doesn’t exist in India. Let’s be honest.”

Dating … What?

Well…er…right. Indians do marry for love. But these matches are usually based on people “accidentally” finding each other through work/school/mutual friends and relatives. No nonsense, goal-driven dating is still rare.

“But what about online dating?”

“You try it. The profiles are mostly either fake or of sickos looking for new ways to get off.”

“You’re right. I would probably not go out on a “date” with a guy I didn’t already know and/or like,” I was thinking aloud. “You can’t really trust people you don’t know.”

“See?” I could almost see the look of huffed triumph on T’s face.

The conversation stuck with me. Indian girls are simply put off by online dating. Strange men are usually seen as sources of potential danger in our culture, and for good reason. So what are the options of the young, urban(ized), upwardly mobile singles who’re bored of matrimonial websites and are ready to write the Indian Dating Story?

I did my research. I was surprised to find how many Indian dating portals and apps exist. While each was unique in its own cool ways, none of these apps answered my basic question: Am I sure I’m not wasting my time?

In other words, how sure am I of the quality of the member community?

One of the apps which stood out is called Woo – A cool mobile meeting platform for interesting, young, progressive singles.

Keeping it real

So what’s Woo’s answer to my question? And why is it special?

The answer is simple – a flat rejection of my sign up request. And it’s special because it irked me and wowed me at the same time.

What characterizes Woo is its commitment to keeping things real – creating opportunities for you to find a person you can actually go out on a date with. The platform intends to actively discourage “casual” flirting and thrill-seeking by people not looking for a serious relationship. For starters, when you try to sign up it screens your Facebook profile to check if you’re married or in a relationship, and politely declines to have you on board if you are. Woo rejects a substantial proportion of the sign up requests that it gets. It calls itself a “curated community” of real singles, looking for a real connection.

But being single on Facebook isn’t your sure-fire ticket on to Woo-land.

Woo auto-creates your profile photo album from Facebook.

Woo pulls in what you do for a living from Linkedin.

It even auto-populates your interests (in the form of pages you subscribe to) from Facebook.

That’s how real your Woo avatar would be once you’re past the sign up stage.

This approach isn’t free of its glitches though. I, like most of you, subscribe to many pages on Facebook, without giving a lot of thought to it. Like humour pages, friend’s photography pages etc. Woo picks two pages out of those under “interests” and shows it to one’s matches, which may not at all be representative of one’s actual interests. (In my case “Neha G Photography” showed up as one of these two. What the ….?)

However, the bottom line remains – no faking customizing of interests in order to attract people you like. No “enhanced” profile pictures for dating purposes. No padded up resume. Just the real you. That’s all you get to bring on to Woo.

Liar liar…

Between you and me – the rejection didn’t feel great. That ensured I was all the more curious to find out what exactly Woo offered me in return for demanding such high standards of authenticity.

Here’s what I did. I signed up through the Facebook profile of a single friend. :D

First surprise after you’re past the profile creation stage – it’s telling you to turn on your GPS.

My GPS?? I almost checked again to make sure I was not on Google Maps.

This was wow. This was truly unique. In keeping with Woo’s commitment to “keeping it real”, it gives you match suggestions of people only in the same city as you – people you can date in the real world. True to its principle of accepting nothing but the truth, Woo doesn’t trust you with disclosing your true location. It would rather believe your GPS.

Woo sometimes takes this mistrust of its users to a pesky level. For example, you can’t write what you want about yourself in the “About me” section. Users are allowed only to pick from a list of pre-defined adjectives which describe them, such as “wanderer”, “music maven” etc. Trolling-proof as they may be, standardized interests for everyone with no scope for expressing oneself freely takes a whole lot of the fun out of a dating app.

The final move

When it comes to match suggestions, Woo takes into account your mutual friends on Facebook, which increases credibility. If you like someone and are too shy to just kick it off by sending them a message, you can even ask mutual friends to introduce you.

You can open up a chat only if the attraction is mutual, i.e. if you confirm that you like someone and they return the favour. That takes care of spam. As a further measure against spamming, Woo also lets you “hide” your profile from being displayed publicly, if you want use the app to chat only with your existing matches.

You can continue to chat on Woo’s plush red-and-wood themed IM platform till you’re comfortable to take things to real life. (Oh btw, Woo’s Indianized humour emoticons are the coolest I’ve EVER used. And that includes Facebook. And Whatsapp.)

So if you’re a young adult, out there looking for a real relationship, Woo might just be your perfect start. If you’re a woman, with the whole suite of security tools from anti-stalking to anti-spam features, this is also one of the safest it’s going to get on a dating app.

Real matches. The real you. A real connection.

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post.

iMarriages: Compatibility through Arranged Marriages?

I don’t quite support arranged marriages.

There. I said it.

I feel the matching process followed in case of modern day Indian arranged marriages is extremely superficial. For example castes, income and food habits are matched very carefully, but personality types, interests, bents of mind etc. are usually completely disregarded. (No, five meetings before marriage don’t help you know anyone.) This approach is very likely to lead to wrong matches and ruin lives, as the rising divorce rates would tell you.

But reality cannot be wished away. And an inevitable arranged marriage is the reality of 80%+ young Indians even today. Within that context, is there a way for them to find a partner who’s not only a “good match” but also actually compatible?

I searched and searched until I found something interesting – iMarriages. The first thing that drew me to this portal was its one-of-a-kind name. Simple, yet powerful in its emphasis on “I” – the symbol of individuality. I instantly felt that this was something different, something new, something unique. I decided to check it out.

If there ever existed such a thing as a matrimony portal with a heart, iMarriages is it. For starters, it assumes you’re human (as opposed to goods to be exchanged :D). It assumes you have a head and a heart. And it also recognizes the fact that spending your life with someone is not only about compatible income levels and family backgrounds, but much more importantly about compatible mindsets.

Yes, that’s right. iMarriages is a matrimonial service that finds you matches based on your personality. It takes you through a rigorous personality assessment questionnaire which helps you determine your own personality type. Subsequently when you search for profiles the system calls out which of the potential partners have personality types matching yours!

You work for money. But your hobbies are activities you choose to pursue simply because they give you pleasure. Hence your hobbies and interests provide a window into the kind of person you are. iMarriages knows that. Hence this portal has half a page of your profile dedicated to your hobbies.

iMarriages takes your individuality seriously. It lets you search profiles based on a very detailed criteria list.

iMarriages - Matrimonial service with a heart

“What’s so new about that?” You might wonder. Well it’s the simple fact that iMarriages also lets you block messages from users who do not match your set criteria – a feature that’s unique among all Indian matrimonial service-providers.

If that was not enough to set it apart from all other Indian matrimony portals, iMarriages even offers you free relationship advice and fun marriage games. You see, I already told you – unlike most other Indian matrimonial service-providers, to iMarriages you’re a thinking, feeling, fun individual. :D

Other Indian Matrimony Portals

iMarriages

Be it the delectable dessert at the end of a sumptuous meal or the nerve-racking climax at the end of a gripping thriller – the best bit of always comes at its end. And here it is for you – iMarriages is completely free. That’s right iMarriages is India’s only prominent marriage portal that’s completely free to use. And yes that includes contacting potential mates and even online chat.

By the time I finished browsing through the portal I was certain – on iMarriages, you can eat the cake of arranged marriage and have it too. iMarriages is not a matrimonial portal, it’s almost a dating cum matrimonial portal. And that makes it fun, lively and yet practical – just what you need for your quest for that special someone.

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post.

Picking the Right Jewellery for Her: Unique Designs for Every Moment

When it comes to choosing the perfect gift for every romantic mood, jewellery is evergreen. From the tiny “I’m sorry” pendant to the bold red beads of “love is forever”, from the “I have a crush on you” plastic bangles to “Will you marry me?” diamond rings – throughout history jewellery has been the infallible medium of expressing emotions.

That’s why (OK, also because of the barrage of questions you keep asking about gifting little trinkets to her…:D) jewellery as romantic mementos became the topic of my most recent random foray through the jungle. Did I say jungle? I meant the Web.

Now to me, it’s not the price of a piece of jewellery but its ability to express feelings that sets it apart. Hence, I knew any one type of jewellery can never be the solution to all your gifting needs. Just like your feelings, the perfect jewellery for your special someone varies from occasion to occasion. And where can you find this mind-numbing variety other than indigenous India – the mind-numbing motley of different traditions, cultures, mores and yes – different native genres of jewellery design?

That’s what brought me to CraftsVilla, a huge online marketplace for unique, handcrafted lifestyle products, directly from India’s home-grown artisans.

Products from the remotest of Indian villages available online, ready to be shipped around the globe?

That sounded too good to be true, so I decided to check up a bit more on this unbelievable-sounding initiative. What I found left my mouth agape. CraftsVilla is basically an online bazaar, where partner artisans create their own shop, set their own price, and sell their own products as they please. Craftsvilla has even set up “Craftsvilla Studios” in many parts of the country to help local designers with technical aspects of the process like taking the right kind of photos of their products, uploading, writing eye-catching content etc. The online model gives global exposure to India’s very own local art forms on the one hand, reducing prices by removing middlemen on the other. It’s just pure delight for both buyers and sellers.

As planned, I proceeded straight to the jewellery section. And at last I got what I was looking for. Each piece here is unique, and it talks to you. It has a personality, a mood. In a place like CraftsVilla (and yes it’s a place), that’s only natural I guess, as each product is handcrafted by indigenous craftsmen, for whom art is a way of life.

I always feel jewellery (or any clothing item or accessory) is not just about making yourself look good. It’s about expressing who you are, and what you’re feeling like at the moment.

Like in this one, for example. Class, confidence and aesthetics have never blended so naturally as they blend in you ;)…

You’re modern and urban, but I know sometimes you like to show off your roots in the boldest, wackiest ways…

You’re simple yet exquisite, honest yet sophisticated. Not everyone can understand you – it takes some depth…

In your heart you’re always that college girl with dreams and the courage to stand out…

Browsing through CraftsVilla’s extensive jewellery range, I stumbled upon its Polki collection. Now I’ve always been fascinated by the art of Polki – by its use of diamond eggs (oh well I mean diamonds which have not yet become diamonds) and the breathtaking boldness of its meenakari. For those of you to whom that sounds like gibberish – Polki an indigenous style of jewellery based on uncut diamonds (called Polki diamonds) which originated in Rajasthan and came into prominence during the Mughal era. Originally Polki designs were based only in gold, but over the years other alloyed jewellery metals have also become mainstream in its designs. Polki pieces are known for their colourful meenkari patterns – a speciality of the district of Bikaner, Rajasthan. In recent times, semi-precious stones like Rose Quartz, Peridots, Tourmalines, Amethysts etc. are also used in Polki designs, in addition to the uncut diamonds.

Craftsvilla Polki artistes have brought this special genre of jewellery to your doorstep through products of diverse moods, hues and styles. If you thought Polki was only about traditional, these designs will make you think again.

This pendant set, for example, with modern designs based on the Polki tradition are perfect for the classiest of your Western formals.

The cool lightweight Polki collections with their exquisite carvings are just what you needed for the days when you feel ethnic. ;)

There’s only one thing that can complement those downright sexy, Saturday evening Polki earrings – your little black dress.

But if you have a Big Fat Indian Wedding coming up and you’re looking for traditional, needless to say you can never exhaust your options in CraftsVilla. The traditional Polki collections that I found here are sure to give you just what you were looking for – the right blend of classic Indian grandeur with contemporary individuality that’s unique to you.

And if you’re a one of those guys who perpetually dream of that elusive classy yet maddeningly sensual gift for her but can never decide on the right mix of class and sensuality – this unique pair of toe-rings is your pick:

You get the point. ;)

If there’s something on Craftsvilla that will mesmerise you even more than the designs – it’s the prices. As you would’ve noticed by now – the wide and exquisite range of Polki collection that’s available to you even at a budget less than Rs. 300 is just mind-blowing. I don’t know about you, but the prices of the sublime pieces around here threw me off my chair.

Affordability, beauty, taste, modernity, heritage – CraftsVilla jewellery offers you almost everything you want when it comes to picking a gift for the most special woman in the world. The final balancing point of all these different factors will, of course, have to be chosen by you and you only (red alert for all you clueless guys with choosy girlfriends/wives :P). Remember, it’s all about conveying your feelings the right way. :)

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post.

Busting the Top 20 Relationship Myths

“True love conquers all.”

“It was love at first sight.”

“If it’s not forever it’s not love.”

Relationship myths are many. Some harmlessly funny, some dangerously life-destroying if you believe in them.

I thought I’d entertain myself by busting some of the most popular relationship myths this morning. Read on for some laughs and may be a few life lessons.

Relationship myth #1

It’s “true, eternal love” that keeps couples together decade after decade. (Only when added to financial stability, compatibility and lethargy to imagine beyond the status quo.)

Photo by JanviSharma

Relationship myth #2

Relationships “work themselves out” if “true love” is there. (“True love” is for the first year. At most two. After that it’s consistent, conscious efforts or Goodbye. ;))

Relationship myth #3

If you’re not happy alone, you’ll never be happy in a relationship. (As social animals, humans are programmed by Nature to feel unhappy and lonely when alone. Loneliness is not a thought but an instinct meant to force you to seek out other humans to socialize with. However as intelligent beings, humans can choose to enjoy their singledom instead of sulking through it.)

Relationship myth #4

You’ll “never” be able to forget your ex who just dumped you. (True, you’ll never be able to forget them as long as you continue to focus on them. But you have the option to shift your focus.)

Relationship myth #5

You fell in love “at first sight”. (There’s no such thing as “love at first sight”. There can be “attraction at first sight”, which may or may not turn into a real relationship.)

Relationship myth #6

If you look at someone and feel “This is it!”, it means this is it. (Girl – and I know you’re a girl – run home before you ruin your life! That’s all I can say. It’s compatibility – not whims – that makes relationships work. And when it comes to gauging it, nothing replaces a few years spent together.)

Relationship myth #7

If it’s not “forever” it’s not “love”. (It’s OK to let some things in your life remain perfect. Like memories of a relationship which didn’t culminate into the messy reality of a life together.)

Relationship myth #8

Your life would be so much better “if only” you weren’t in this wretched relationship. (Water the grass on your side to the best of your abilities before you start thinking that the other side is greener. It takes work – not “love and luck” – to make relationships work.)

Relationship myth #9

Being in love is a necessary condition for a successful marriage. (A successful marriage is about making the all-round partnership more value-adding than being alone, for both the partners. The value can be emotional, practical, social, financial or anything else. It can be – and often is – a combination of many of these factors.)

Relationship myth #10

Being in love is a sufficient condition for a successful marriage. (Well, listen to your mother. And read this: Why Marriages and Relationships are like Apples and Oranges (Part 1) & Why Marriages and Relationships are like Apples and Oranges (Part 2))

Photo by JanviSharma

Relationship myth #11

Everyone falls in love at least once. (Not everyone is sensitive enough to be able to fall in love. Many people spend their lives in “happy arrangements” called “marriages”. And that includes all marriages of convenience, including but not limited to those arranged by one’s parents. ;) )

Relationship myth #12

Compatibility is a necessary condition for falling in love. (Falling in love per se is a random, mad process. It has got nothing to do with marriage, relationship, stability etc. All these factors complicate it at a later stage.)

Relationship myth #13

Falling in love is a sufficient condition for compatibility. (OMG No! Again, read this: “When Should I Get Married?” 10 Questions I Wish I Had Asked Myself Before Getting Married – Part 1 & “When Should I Get Married?” 10 Questions I Wish I Had Asked Myself Before Getting Married – Part 2)

Relationship myth #14

You should get married before you let your relationship become “old” and “boring”. (Only if you’re comfortable taking the biggest decision of your life under the influence of addictive drugs. If you want a stable marriage, spend at least 2 years with each other before deciding to get married.)

Relationship myth #15

While marriage has many disadvantages, some of the biggest advantages are enjoying “true, lasting love”, lifelong romance and sex. (While these things form an important part of a marriage, that part is close to 0.5%. People get married because they crave sharing and companionship).

Relationship myth #16

The low divorce rates in India bear testimony to the fact that arranged marriages foster true compatibility. (It bears testimony to the fact that in India, breaking the bond of marriage – “love” or “arranged” – means a massive loss of face most would do anything to avoid.)

Relationship myth #17

Opposites attract. (As I’ve said many times, it’s compatibility which keeps people together. A certain degree of complementarity can increase compatibility, but extreme divergence – e.g. a firebrand liberal and a diehard conservative – rarely helps create a lasting partnership.)

Relationship myth #18

You’re feeling bored and same-old means you’re not in love with each other. (Boredom and same-old-ness in long term relationships are some of the surest signs of stability)

Relationship myth #19

A relationship is a bond between two people. (A relationship is a chemistry of two families. No, I’m not talking about only the typical Indian version where it’s literally so, but relationships of all forms. Your partner is to a great extent a product of their childhood and their upbringing. You have to understand their childhood and the people they spent it with in order to understand them.)

Relationship myth #20

Incessant fighting means “it’s not working”. (Incessant fighting signifies you still care for and fiercely love each other. It’s when fights stop that the end is near.)

Don’t agree with me? There’s one among the twenty which you’ve found to be true in your life? Bash away in the comments. I’m waiting. ;)

How to Propose a Girl on Facebook: Top 10 Ways

After exploring general Facebook dating tips in our last posts How to Propose a Girl on Facebook-Part 1 and How to Propose a Girl on Facebook-Part 2, I started getting a few polite (OK, sometimes) hints from some of you reminding me that it was time to look at some actual methods of proposing a girl on Facebook.

So here are your long-awaited hacks to blow her off her feet as you declare your love on The Social Network.

Photo by jkdksh

#1. Propose a Girl on Facebook with a funny anagram

Post an anagram of “I love you Tina” (let’s say her name is Tina) or any message you want to give her, on her wall, in the form of an intricate picture. Here’s a cool little app that rearranges any text string into various funny anagrams. And then, with nothing more than the copy of Microsoft Powerpoint already sitting there in your computer, turn it into the whackiest word-image ever. Save the slide as picture and post it to Facebook. Done! If she seems to have missed the trick, you can challenge her over chat to solve the puzzle hidden in your post. ;)

#2. Propose a Girl on Facebook with a “time-bomb”

Post a picture on her wall which says, “The 10^th day from today will be the most important day of your life.” The next day post another that says, “9 more days to go…”, “8 more days to go…” and so on until the last day. On the 10^th day inbox her your most romantic e-card. She’d remember the moment for the next hundred years.

#3. Propose a girl on Facebook with a status message

If you’re feeling frustrated with the banality of that one, bear with me for a few more seconds till you find the important bit.

The most obvious way to propose a girl on Facebook is by posting your romantic message to her in the form of a status message on your profile.

But relax. I’m not talking about giving the entire world something to talk about. Not yet. ;)

Have you heard of something called post-level privacy settings? Click on the audience selector of your new status message, choose “custom” and then make it invisible to everyone but her.

She’d get a huge shock to see your declaration of love out there for the world to see, but trust me – she will feel a tiny bit proud of you for being so honest about your feelings (don’t forget to go crazy ;)).

To be on the safe side send her a private message a few days later (in case she hasn’t responded already) and explain it.

#4. Propose a girl on Facebook by going lyrical

Poems are poems because they express the feelings deep inside our hearts better than we can – in a way that arouses our emotions. Post your favourite romantic lyrics or poem as your status message and tag her. The poet’s words might just catch her fancy if yours’ falls short. ;)

#5. Propose a girl on Facebook by posting a video

Video-record yourself proposing her in your most romantic language. Post it on YouTube. Give it some funny name like “Dying for love” or “Until death do us apart”. Post it on your profile (again, be careful with your privacy settings) with a commentary that goes something like, “Heart-rending…brought a tear to my eyes… a must watch”. Tag her if you think there’s a chance she might miss it.

You can imagine her reaction when she opens it! Remember – you have to be as creative in this video as you can be. ;)

#6. Propose a girl on Facebook with a song

For those of you who’re not in a position to arrange for shooting a video self-portrait – all is not lost. ;) Download a video of her favourite love song somewhere off the internet. In text form, add the words bubbling inside your heart, and post this video online. You know the rest. If even that is too much work, you can simply post her favourite romantic track on your profile tagging her, with your message.

#7. Propose a girl on Facebook by flooding her wall

Get a few of your common friends (I hope you have a few at least) in confidence. Tell them to post messages on her wall like “Congrats”, “You didn’t tell us the good news ;)” etc. When she asks them what it’s all about, they should direct her to you, saying something like, “Oh you don’t know? Ask <your name>.”

#8. Propose a girl on Facebook through missing letter puzzles

Post a missing letter puzzle every morning. Each puzzle will have a certain letter of the alphabet as its solution. When added up over a few days, the letters should make the sentence “I love you Tina”. Here are some puzzles for you to get started: Missing letter puzzles. Don’t be shy of dropping her a few hints every now and then in cases she misses it.

#9. Propose a Girl on Facebook with a custom love poem

I discovered a great website for creating custom love poems. You can customize it with her name and favourite gifts and then download it in the shape of a heart like I did. All of this for free! Post this on your wall tagging her, hidden from the prying eyes of other friends. ;)

#10. Propose a girl on Facebook with the key to your heart

Post the picture of a key on her wall. For a change, you don’t have to worry about privacy settings this time, as there’s nothing unusual about it. :D Subsequently inbox her asking, “Did you receive a key?” When she confirms, tell her, “It’s the key to my heart. I give it to you.”

Are you a Facebook flirter? What are some genius (or not-so-much) strategies you’ve used to propose a girl on Facebook? What worked? What didn’t work? Share with the rest of us through the comments.

How to Propose a Girl on Facebook – Part 2

How’re you doing today penguins?
After a round of general Facebook dating etiquette in our last post today is … another round of the same, in part 2 of our How to Propose a Girl on Facebook series. :D

Propose a girl on Facebook Rule#6. Stop over-posting

Three status messages a day is not cool. You don’t want to tell her that you’re a bored jobless soul spending your life on Facebook (and if you ask me, this goes for everyone – trying to impress a girl or not). 3-4 posts a week is what is optimal, if you ask me. If your posting urges get the better of you, 1 per day should be your upper cut-off.

Propose a girl on Facebook Rule#7. Don’t over-interact

Those of you who’ve been following this blog for some time would be familiar with this re and re-re emphasized relationship rule of mine:

Women want men, not boys.

Slavish over-eager behaviour will never get you the girl of your dreams. Liking and commenting on every single status update/photo of hers screams, “I’m desperate!” Not the message she expects from the confident, self-sufficient and mature guy she’s looking for. Engage in public interactions only when you genuinely have a thought to convey.

Photo by PhotoKarmatic

Propose a girl on Facebook Rule#8. Disagree … in style

This is an extension of my earlier point. There’s no need to agree with each status message of hers (assuming she occasionally makes posts that one can agree or disagree to, in addition to the regular “had a great weekend with friends” ones :D). That speaks of the kind of slavishness she detests. Every now and then (again, not every time) politely show her the “other point of view” if you can. Personality, independent thinking and confidence in one’s own judgements is a combination more women than you think would die for.

Propose a girl on Facebook Rule#9. Don’t over-socialize … with her girlfriends

Don’t send friend requests to other girls on her profile. Take it from me – she will visit your profile and check out common friends.

Every day.

Photo by _Max-B

If she finds her girlfriends gradually adding to that population, she’d mark you as just another guy out for some casual thrill of online dating.

And stop replying to your messages.

OK, she might. :D

Propose a girl on Facebook Rule#10. Don’t propose her publicly!

Breach of privacy is the first thing that causes strife between people on Facebook. Do not post anything publicly on her profile that conveys your more-than-friendship feelings to her friends before they’re conveyed to her. Follow the general thumb-rule of playing safe so far as your public interactions with her are concerned.

The bad news is, that’s the end of the Facebook dating etiquette sessions. The good news is, we’d now go on to talk about some really creative ways of proposing a girl on Facebook.

In the next post. :D

Stay tuned!

How to Propose a Girl on Facebook – Part 1

So you’re dating online? And you’ve been so successful that you now want to propose a girl on Facebook? Great. I know you’d been waiting for some Golden Rules of Proposing a Girl on Facebook for quite some time (if the search phrases which bring you to this website are anything to go by ;)). And your day has finally come.

Today’s post is the first part of a two-part series on how to propose a girl on Facebook. But before going into the exact methods of proposing a girl on Facebook, I’ve decided to lay down some basic rules of Facebook dating. I cannot emphasize the importance of these rules enough when it comes to striking the right chord with a girl you’ve met on The Social Network.

I know, ’cause I got hitched through Facebook.

Photo by www.Craftsquatch.com

Propose a girl on Facebook Rule#1. Watch her profile

We keep a tab on our friends’ updates but we typically don’t check their “About” and “Liked pages” much. Go through every detail in her profile carefully. This would help her know her as a person – her tastes, preferences, beliefs and worldview. The rule of thumb is that you should know every piece of info about her that is available in public domain (The “public domain” bit is important. Stalking is not recommended. ;)) Use this info in online conversations with her. When your knowledge of her as a person shows through, she’d know you’re really – like really – interested in her. Talk about doing a thorough research on a potential employer before interviewing with them? ;)

Propose a girl on Facebook Rule#2. Watch your albums

Go through you albums. If there’s any photo which you wouldn’t want her to see (e.g. those of your ex-girlfriend, or documentation of the effects of excessive amounts of alcohol on you. ;)), hide it. Disable your friends tagging you in photos if need be. Remember – this is not about painting a false picture of yours, but about making the efforts to impress her that she expects you to make. I for one would be disappointed if a guy expressing serious romantic interest in me lets his ex-girlfriend’s pictures hang out there. Does that mean I expect him to have had zero relationships in the past? No. It means I expect him to put in efforts to impress me, and he’s falling short.

Photo by P@ttu

Propose a girl on Facebook Rule#3. Don’t brag

One of the top dating mistakes men make is trying to impress her too directly – in other words, through sheer bragging. Facebook has come to provide the official bragging forum to many, but when it comes to impressing a girl “First promotion within the first two years – check!” is not the best status message to post. If you’re itching to post some recent development in your life that you’re proud of, don’t. Tell her personally instead. Being the first person to know about it will make her feel special.

Propose a girl on Facebook Rule#4. Be who you are

An oft-repeated but crucial rule of dating – online or otherwise – is being genuine. Your Facebook profile – all public info, status updates, photos – should paint the true picture of you as a person. Now does that mean you make all your personal info public? No. If you’re uncomfortable sharing any info, remain silent, but don’t try to paint a false picture. A guy I’d met had a Facebook date of birth three years later than his real one. No prizes for guessing we didn’t proceed much. Painting a false picture gets you only till the first few face-to-face meetings, no further. ;)

Propose a girl on Facebook Rule#5. Stop random tagging

Don’t tag her on your aesthetically profound works of photography, performed with domesticated and wild forms of photography around you (i.e. photos of your cute dog and the creeper around your window grills). No one likes to get 47 notifications a day. The only thing over-tagging can earn you is irritation from her.

Have you ever dated anyone through Facebook? How did it go? Share your experiences through comments as you wait for How to Propose a Girl on Facebook – Part 2.