Dating – Page 4 – Love in India

Help! I’m in love with my best friend! (Part 1)

Recently one of my readers-Babblu- asked me – what if I’m starting to feel like I love my best friend? How should you deal with it? Should I go ahead and let them know how I feel, or keep my feelings to myself? Even if I let her know about my feelings, what’s the best way to do it?
So I thought I’d post a series on how to propose a girl who’s your friend. Today let’s take a look at the three key questions to ask yourself when you start feeling like you’re in love with your best friend.

Q #1. Is it real?

Love is a big word. First ask yourself – am I really in love with my best friend, or I’m just liking her more as a result of spending more and more/less time with her than earlier? It’s a fact of nature, that if we spend more time with people we already like, our bond with them tends to grow stronger. On the other hand, if you’re used to spending a lot of time with your best friend, and suddenly she gets into a new relationship/job etc. causing her to spend less time with you, you might start missing her and have the feeling that you’re in love with your best friend.

Photo by silje/vanilje

Q #2. Can it hurt your friendship?

Ok, so you’re decided. You’ve asked yourself all the right questions and now you’re sure you really are in love with your best friend. But before you go ahead and blurt it out there are still more questions you need to ask yourself.
Are you picking up her cues correctly? Does she seem to share your feelings too, or she really hasn’t ever thought of you as anything other than her friend? Try to be as objective with yourself as you can be. Yes I know-it’s very, very difficult, ‘cause love makes you blind and forces you to ignore all evidence tell yourself that the person you’re mad about is mad about you too. But do yourself a favour and before you proceed any further, look for clues of her real feelings towards you.

How important is your friendship? Are you prepared to forgo your friendship in case she’s not comfortable in the new situation? In the unfortunate case that she doesn’t want to get romantically involved with you, your friendship might suffer a setback because of the new developments.

Photo by arthur+martha

Q #3. Can it hurt your other relationships?

What is her relationship status – official or unofficial? Is she seeing someone? Is she in a steady relationship? In either of these cases, think seriously before declaring your love to your best friend. Try to gauge the depth of her other relationship, if any. If you know her boyfriend/date or you’re friends with him, be extra careful.

In the next part we’ll look at how to propose to a girl who’s your best friend, in case you have answered all the above three questions in the positive.

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Proposing a Girl-Tips for Overcoming Shyness

A few days ago I was chatting with a (guy) friend of mine when he ruefully mentioned his mundane (non-existent) love-life. There are many girls he knows and likes but he hasn’t been able to muster the courage to actually “propose” them, i.e. go up to them and tell them how he feels. Let down by himself, he’s finally checking out the matchmaking sites, in search of a match for an arranged marriage.

Photo by Megyarsh

Shyness can be a real hindrance when it comes to dating and kick-starting your love-life. What can be a greater regret than liking someone for a long time, then seeing them taken away just because you could never voice your feelings? No, you don’t want that.

What is shyness?

Dr. Bernardo J. Carducci of the Shyness Research Institute (yes it exists) sees shyness as a sum of three components:

1.Excessive Self-Consciousness

– You’re conscious of what you’re doing, what you’re saying, how you’re behaving and especially what people are making of you, particularly when around people.

2.Excessive Negative Self-Evaluation

–You have a negative view of yourself.

3.Excessive Negative Self-Preoccupation

– You’re too hard on yourself. Of all the things that you do, the ones which you’re doing wrong catch your attention immediately, but the ones you’re doing right don’t. Especially when you’re around people.

Handling self-consciousness

Where does self-consciousness come from? The first advice you’ll get when you ask anyone (including Google) about overcoming self-consciousness is that, “You’re far less important than you think you are,” or “People really don’t have so much time to think about you.” When I was in college, I came to know, through a friend, that some guys (guys, not girls) were making fun of me among themselves saying, “Why on earth does she wear strap shoes when she’s wearing a skirt?” Yeah right-I was thinking all along that they were giving me even more attention than this. The moral of this story is that no, you don’t have to believe that “you’re not so important” bu*****t. People enjoy talking about (and criticizing) others. Often more, not less, than you think. (Where did the word ‘gossip’ come from??)
BUT, not everyone is gossiping about the same person all the time. While you’ll be shocked at the levels of attention some people have paid you (the skirt-shoe thing) at some point of time, you’ll be equally surprised (pleasantly) to know how soon they forgot about you and moved on to dissect some other hopeless victim’s life. So learn to believe that you’re getting just about 50% of the attention you think you’re getting, at an aggregate level.

Negative self-evaluation

The first and foremost reason for people feeling shy around the opposite sex (particularly men feeling shy around women) is fear of rejection. Why is the possibility of rejection becoming so enormous in your mind? Because you often judge yourself negatively. You’re imagining you don’t have enough positive in you to offer to your love interest, and so the probability of rejection is higher.

Photo by Meddygarnet

Wake up!! We all have talents and shortcomings, including those gossipmongers who’re looking at you and judging you. The way to break free of overly negative self-images is treating social interactions like math-something that has to be practiced on a regular basis. Make it a point to initiate conversation with at least 1 person-preferably someone new-every day. Think of it as purely an exercise, with zero emotional involvement from your side in the conversation. Many a times the people you approach will not pay you any attention (yes for some mysterious reason people often forget that being nice is FREE). But equally often they will. Through this process you’ll realize you’re just another normal person-who’s not disliked in general more than any other person. And so the chances of rejection from your dream girl (or prince) are not abnormally high as you imagine. To reduce those chances even further approach her at the right moment.

Negative self-preoccupation

Keep a journal with you. List all the things you’ve done right in a day. If you want you can also make a parallel list of the things you’ve done wrong, but I don’t think you need to (since picking your own faults is something you’re good at anyway). Once again you’ll realize you’re doing about as much percentage of all the things right as is the normal average person. And what’s more, you’ll realize you were not only noticing every wrong, but looking at them with a magnifying glass.
Make small promises to yourself everyday and keep them-like talking to a new person everyday, which I just mentioned. When you’ll realize that you’re able to keep these promises you’ll feel much more capable and confident. Approaching your crush will become that much easier.
Any other strategy you used to overcome your shyness around the opposite sex? Let us know through the comment thingy.

The Ideal Time to Propose to a Girl

You’ve probably heard of the famous love quote-“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.” Sure, if there’s a girl you’ve begun to like you should let her know. But when? Here are some telltale signs to look for before you propose her.

1.You’re not just another person in her life

Are you one of those guys who spend one month admiring their crush from a distance while she doesn’t even know you exist? If that is the case then now is certainly not the right moment to propose. You don’t think accepting a total stranger as your boyfriend/girlfriend is really cool, do you? Neither does she. So if she doesn’t know you right now, let her know you.

Photo by Darwin Bell

2. She’s friends with you

The best thing to do is to start with a ‘Hi!’ Ah you probably knew that one. Now all you have to do is to put it into action overcoming all your shyness. Start a conversation with her about trivial things. Your objective is to become friends with her-to create a situation where she’ll want to talk to you and she’ll crave your company.

3.She trusts you

Once again-forget about someone getting into a relationship with someone they don’t trust. If you propose to her before you’ve gained her trust chances are she’ll turn you down. So it’s not enough to be friends with her. You need to be in her inner circle-one of the top three. You must be the one she turns to when she needs help with something. You must be the one she likes to hang out with most often. In short, you need to ‘build it up’- cultivate a liking (not necessarily romantic) for you in her mind.

4. Something common

Find out about her interests and try to find something in common with her-something the two of you can talk about. If you really have nothing in common read up on her interests so that you can have a meaningful conversation about it. Of course, if you’ve met her at your school/college/workplace this point is irrelevant because you already have something in common which you can talk endlessly about. :D

Photo by noe**

5.You have the gut feeling

At the right time it’ll not be difficult for you to pick up the telltale signals. That smile that lights up her face when she sees you, that twinkle in her eyes…they’ll all tell you, “This is the right moment.” Go ahead and do it then. How? Check this out.

Top 5 First Date Mistakes Men Make

No. I was not going to forget half of humanity, or (sadly) more than half of Indians after yesterday’s post. So here goes.

1.Trying to be funny

Humor is such a b**ch. You either have it or you don’t. Whatever you do don’t try hard. If you do, the date becomes a highly un-enjoyable stretch of time both of you are wishing would end.

Photo by Humor Blog

2.Talking about yourself

Nothing puts a girl off more than this one. I hope your date is not stupid enough to have gone out with a guy she knows nothing about, so she knows how unique, special, fabulous and amazing you are. Well basically. Anything that you have to tell her is not worth mentioning. Now of course if she asks you about yourself it’s a different matter. But even in that case give information, don’t brag.

3.Not dressing properly

She has agreed to go out with you and spend an evening with you. You need to respect the importance she’s giving you. No, it’s not just women who need to look good. You do too. Don’t wear your college t-shirt to your first date. Use cologne (make sure it’s not women’s). And don’t go clean-shaven. A two-day stubble is best (according to studies.)

Photo by P_a_h

4.Pretending to be interested in what she has to say:

You may not be interested in some afternoon TV series. Just like she might not know what’s Formula 1. That’s fine. You can try to steer the conversation to different topics if she rambles on about something that’s making you fall asleep. But a great way to commit dating-harakiri is to pretend to be interested in something she’s saying while you’re actually not listening. You’ll invariably ask her about something she’s just explained and watch her smile falter.

5.Attempting to hold hands

Or worse-kiss! Holding hands is a gesture of an emotional connection. Not ideal material for a first date. And unless you want to earn the hatred of your date by “getting down to business” on a first date, don’t even think about attempting to kiss her!
Men are surely not so impeccable beings that the total number of first-date mistakes that they’ve ever made is five. I’ve listed down the most common (and most irritating) ones. Use the “Leave a Reply” thing below to add others.

30 First Date Do’s and Don’ts for Girls

A guy has just asked you out for a date and you don’t know what to do? Here are 30 tips to prepare you for the event.

1. Don’t go out on a date unless you’re ready for a relationship now.
2. Don’t go out on a date out of courtesy, i.e. if you’re not really interested in the guy.
3. Don’t go out on a date with a guy you know very little about. I don’t need to tell you how dangerous it can be.
4. Don’t wear something too revealing. You know what it signals.
5. Don’t wear too formal/gorgeous. You don’t want him to assume undue importance. ;)
6. Wear something you’re comfortable in. You don’t want to shiver all evening in your attempt to be sexy on a winter date.
7. Don’t wear too much makeup. That’s crass.
8. Don’t be ~~fashionably~~ late. No, it’s not fashionable at all (Not beyond the first 5 minutes anyway).
9. Don’t be nervous. He asked for it. (I hope. :P)
10. Smile.
11. Maintain eye contact. No one likes overly shy girls anymore.
12. Have a creative plan for the evening. The restaurant is not the only place you can go. Your favourite play, an exhibition or that antique coffee shop could be great for dates too.

Photo by kevindooley

13. Don’t suggest any of these before he asks. You’ll come across as overeager.
14. Don’t suggest an exuberantly expensive option if asked. He might insist on paying for everything in the end.
15. Don’t be shy if he tells you to choose the dishes and drinks. Go ahead.
16. Don’t drink too much. You don’t want to forget his name. During the date, that is.
17. Don’t leave your drink. You don’t know him. I don’t want to scare you but suffice it to say that it’s not advisable.
18. Don’t dribble food down your front. Okay I’m joking. :D

Photo by faith goble

19. Your objective is to have a great, engaging conversation. Steer towards that with everything you say.
20. Don’t ask him about his past relationships. Not the best topic for a first date.
21. Don’t mention any of your past boyfriends even by mistake. “Hey! You know this dish was XYZ’s favorite.” No, you don’t want that.
22. Don’t ask too many questions. No one likes all the attention on themselves. Have a relaxed, natural conversation.
23. Don’t ask too much about his work. You don’t want to look like a gold-digger.
24. Don’t ask about his parents or family. It’s too early and you’re not your mother.
25. Ask about his hobbies and interests, his taste for movies/books etc. This kind of topics help people open up. You’d strike the best chord if you can make him enjoy talking.
26. If he asks you something about yourself don’t ramble.
27. Do offer to split the bills. No, honestly.
28. Everyone doesn’t have the same beliefs and attitudes. Your actions can be misinterpreted. I know it sounds crazy, but to be on the safe side, don’t hold hands on a first date. (I had once run into the biggest trouble of my life by holding hands on the first date. Surely enough disaster to fill fifty future posts.)
29. Don’t kiss (If we’re talking about India, that is). Not unless you want to come across as the most desperate girl on earth.
29. Most importantly, have a good time. Don’t look at the date as a stressful test that you have to pass. Focus on enjoying yourself.
30. Good luck!

The Gold Digger* dialogue

Gold-digger says: What do you do?
Translation: Are you earning enough to satisfy my material demands?
Gold-digger says: Where do you live?
Translation: I’m hoping you live in a posh area.
Gold-digger says: Tell me everything about yourself. I want to know you better.
Translation: I want to get a clearer idea of your work and how much you’re making.
Gold-digger says: (On being complimented on her looks) Thank you…yes, this dress looks good on me.

Translation: This dress is expensive and you’d better prepare for starting to fund my standards.
Gold-digger says: (In a party) Monica is looking gorgeous in that dress, isn’t she?
Translation: Buy me expensive dresses like the one Monica’s wearing.
Gold-digger says: Do you know a new shopping mall has come up in such-and-such place?
Translation: Let’s go shopping and you’ll pay for everything.
Gold-digger says: I’m bored.
Translation: Let’s go shopping.
Gold-digger says: My stupid old landlady is making my life hell asking for the rent again and again.
Translation: Give me money.
Gold-digger says: My car is giving a hell lot of trouble of late. After all it’s sure old.
Translation: Give me money.
Gold-digger says: I love you (after being presented with an expensive gift).
Translation: Now you can have sex with me.

Gold-digger says: Shut up! You’re not too old for me. I love the person that you are.
Translation: You wouldn’t be earning so much if you were 10 years younger, so I’m happy that you’re 10 years older than me.
Gold-digger says: You’re so sexy, baby!
Translation: You’re ugly but your wallet is not, so I’ll stay with you.
Gold-digger says: I love you like my life. What are we waiting for? Let’s get married.
Translation: You’ve passed all my tests of financial muscle power. Now I want to hook you for life before you realize my intentions.
Gold-digger says: I can never love anyone but you.
Translation: You’re richer than even I’d expected. I want to marry you.
Gold-digger says: I’d like to meet your family.
Translation: You’re richer than even I’d expected. I want to marry you.
Gold-digger says: Well…I enjoyed last evening but I think we’re very different people.
Translation: You’re not as rich as I’d have wanted so goodbye.

* A gold digger, according to www.dictionary.com, is “a person who dates others purely to extract money from them, in particular a woman who strives to marry a wealthy man.”

How to Impress a Girl into Liking You: 6 Tips

My friend Rahul (name changed) has had a crush on Sheetal (name changed) since time immemorial. My guess is that all of his friends, including me, have at some point of time or the other played the relationship counselor to him-giving him suggestions to overcome his shyness, giving him support after the latest rejection, even subtly recommending him to Sheetal! But nothing has changed.

The other day he was asking me for suggestions. I told him, “Nothing changes if nothing changes. We can’t change anything for you. The only thing that can and should change in the whole scheme of things is YOU. If you want I can give you pointers for that.” Read on to find out my top 6 suggestions to him.

Be confident:

Shy guys don’t get any points from girls. Period. Why would a girl be your girlfriend? Because you’re a man. And being shy takes away significantly from your masculinity, in a girl’s eyes. One of the strategies commonly used for building confidence is projecting yourself as a confident person. Even if you don’t feel confident pretend to be confident-the attitude will probably soon enter your mind.
Don’t brag:

Bragging is the other extreme which you need to avoid like plague when it comes to impressing a girl. Are you one of those men who think talking about themselves and their achievements is a way of giving the girl reasons to like them? You couldn’t be more wrong. First of all truth speaks for itself. Everyone knows who you are and what you are (at least I hope so). If the girl finds that interesting she’ll be impressed, and if she doesn’t she won’t be. You can’t change anything by your words. Secondly people who brag come across as self-obsessed. At least I wouldn’t think of getting into a relationship with someone who’s so sickly in love with himself that he wouldn’t give me the importance of an equal.
Make her laugh:

A sense of humor is usually a major turn on for women. Making someone laugh is making a connection with the child inside them. If you can make a girl laugh you’re most likely already in her good books. Besides, every girl wants to be with someone they can look up to and admire. If you’re proud of your intelligence, making her laugh is the best way of showing it off.
Your looks matter:

If you’re under the impression that only women need to take care of their appearance and look beautiful, think again. A relationship is basically the human, civilized version of the primordial instincts nature has given us. And so looks helps create the first attraction. Pay attention to your clothes, hairstyle etc. before going to meet her.
Praise her looks subtly:

Nothing makes a girl feel more feminine than her physical beauty being appreciated by a man. Compliment her on her looks confidently. But do it subtly and never do it before you’ve known each other for some time. If she’s really beautiful you need to be extra cautious-she’s too used to compliments and will write you off as just another honey-thirsty bee if the first thing you say to her is a compliment on her looks!
Be a friend:

If you want to earn a girl’s trust you have to first be her friend. Never make the mistake of hinting her of your romantic ambitions right from the word go. Spend some time getting to know her as a person, finding out about her beliefs, likes and dislikes, ambitions, hobbies and philosophy of life. If you have taken due care to really understand her, you’re almost sure to earn her affection in the near future.

Anything important that I missed out?

8 Signs: Is my Boyfriend/Girlfriend Serious About Our Relationship?

Is my boyfriend/girlfriend serious about our relationship?
You’ve been sad for months. You have given your heart and soul to your boyfriend/girlfriend, you’re convinced they’re the man/woman of your dreams but they don’t quite seem to reciprocate your feelings. Do they feel the same about you as you feel about them? Read on to find out.

1.Meet my friend Neha!

Does your boyfriend/girlfriend refer to you as a “friend” instead of their “girlfriend (boyfriend)”/ “fiancé” to most outsiders? It’s true that in India some people are embarrassed to admit that they’re in a relationship. But you can make out whether the real reason behind your boyfriend/girlfriend’s denial of your relationship is shyness or something else. Especially if you’ve brought this up with them already and they’re still insisting on trying to deny your existence as their boyfriend/girlfriend, it may be time to be alert.

2.Take your hands off me or get killed!

They’re uneasy being seen in public with you. They’re seriously offended if you even hold their hand while you’re outside. They once quarreled with you for kissing them on the cheek in front of others. Their attitude hurts you a lot. But you’re trying to “understand them”, to “adjust”. You’re telling yourself, “We just happen to have been born with different levels of shyness.” But what you’re choosing to overlook is that if someone’s really in love with you they’ll certainly not cause your suffering knowingly. Another telltale sign.

3.Relationship status: Single!

They refuse to mention their relationship with you under “relationship status” in Facebook/Orkut. When you enquire about it they give insubstantial excuses like they don’t want other people to know everything about their life, they have their relatives/parents on their friend-list who they don’t want to know about their relationship, etc. There’s something that you should know here. One of the litmus tests of being in love is feeling proud of it and wanting to tell everyone about it. (It’s just this instinct of people in love which the social networks have harnessed with their “relationship status” feature!)

4.Meeting parents? Not yet.

You’ve never met or talked to anyone from their family even though you’ve been in relationship for quite some time now. If you express interest in meeting them your partner says, “Ok we’ll do it next weekend,” but that weekend never comes. They might try many variations of excuses-“My family is rather conservative”, “It’s better to tell them just before marriage,” “We’re from different castes/sub-castes/races, I need some time before I can bring it up with my parents,” etc.

5.Your friends & family who?

They never ask you about your family, how you grew up, who are your friends etc. Even if they’ve met your friends they’ve not seemed too interested in them. And if you’ve gotten a chance to find out-they’ve not remembered the names of most of them. Lack of interest in things closely associated with your whole being-your childhood, your family and your friends-indicates lack of interest in the person that’s YOU! If they’re not interested in understanding you, they probably don’t have too many plans regarding your relationship.

6.You dance Odissi? Or Salsa?

Along the same lines as point #5, they’re not interested at all in your passions and hobbies. Do you find yourself reminding them to read your blog again and again? Are you sad about the fact that they’ve never asked you about your favorite genre of music? Do they often fail to even remember what your hobby is? Doesn’t sound like your potential life-partner to me.

7.Boom! Watch out for the splinters of our plans!

You’ve planned for months and weeks for a nice little beach getaway during the Diwali holidays which you’d decided on together. All this while you’ve been telling them of your plans with great enthusiasm and joy and anticipation. Come Diwali and boom! They just blow up your plans (and you, in the process). They’ve just decided not to go away from their family during this auspicious period. They’ve just decided to use this break for getting up to speed on their studies. You’re of course devastated. But who cares?

8.Did I tell you I was moving to New York?

They never consult you on major decisions-decisions which you’d ideally like to take together. They inform you after making the decisions, when you’re left gaping, thinking, “I never had wind of it!” If it’s something you don’t agree with, they reason it’s too late to change their decision now.
If your partner displays any of the above symptoms it’s time you brought it up with them and talked about it openly. If they show four or more of the eight behaviors mentioned above, they’re probably not thinking of a future with you. If you’ve become emotionally involved with them bring it up with them NOW. Tell them openly that you’re convinced that they’re not serious about the relationship and you are. Suggest taking some time off from each other for re-assessing what each of you want from the relationship.
Don’t agree with me? Why don’t you leave a reply to let me know?

How to Impress Your Girlfriend

Are you in a relationship and want to understand her better? Do you want to know what she wants from you? Do you sometimes wish someone gave you a magic window into her world? Here are the top 10 ways to impress her and have a fulfilling relationship.

1.Make her laugh.

Yes the old saying is true. Girls do adore men with a sense of humour.

2.Compliment her on her looks.

It makes us feel feminine. A romantic relationship with a man is first of all a celebration of a girl’s femininity, which is pampered when you appreciate her beauty. But don’t fake it. Praise her looks only at those moments when she looks particularly attractive to you (we all have them).

3.Surprises.

Give her small surprises every once in a while. A simple “I’m thinking of you” e-card or a short handwritten love-letter can do the trick. We love romantic surprises because they make us feel special. A small gesture will make her feel that she’s always on your mind, that she is not lost somewhere among your mental layers.

4.Give her due attention.

Make it a point to spend sufficient time together every day. If you don’t meet every day, call. If you’re one of those men who need space, who don’t enjoy talking to their girlfriends for hours over the phone or if you’re just plain busy, make the calls shorter but don’t forget to call every day. When you’re hanging up apologize for not being able to spend more time with her. Failing to give each other due attention can become the first nail in the coffin of your relationship, especially if there’s expectation mismatch with regard to this on a continued basis. If you genuinely are too busy to find much leisure any time in the near future, this is probably not the right time for you to start a relationship.

5.Too many gifts?

Do you often find yourself presenting her with material gifts? Do you find her sullen if you haven’t gifted her anything in a while? In that case be warned-she certainly doesn’t love you. In fact even if your girlfriend never asks for gifts and really is in love with you, it’s not wise to make expensive gifts a regular part of your relationship. You know why? Because you want her to be with you only as long as she’s in love with you. If you create other incentives for being with you, chances are she’ll hang around (read make a fool of you by cheating you into believing that she loves you) even if she’s not in love with you at some future point of time.

6.Don’t play too hard to get.

If you think you can get more attention from her by playing hard to get, think again. Certainly a relationship is not the only thing in anyone’s life or mind, and neither should it be, for it to remain healthy. But if you resort to deliberate cheap tactics like not taking her calls most of the time, trying to show her that she doesn’t deserve your attention etc., then there’s a problem. Sure, these will work for a while since it’s human nature to think what’s hard to get is more valuable. But eventually she’ll leave you. That’s certain. And that’s because everything wilts, wanes and dies if it’s not nurtured, and her love for you would, too. (Unless, of course, she’s with you for any other reason than being in love with you, e.g. your money or social status! And in that case you want her to leave you as soon as possible!)

7.Don’t be too easy to get.

Unfortunately the other side of the principle I mentioned above is that it’s also human nature to be unable to value something that comes easily to us. When I was a child I used to take out all my anger on my mother, who literally is the best mum in the world and made innumerable sacrifices for me, like all mothers. Thus becoming the carpet beneath her feet (not protesting even if she’s rude to you or even physically violent with you, trying to protect her from the outside world, doing her work etc.) is not a good strategy either.

8.Parents matter.

Be respectful to her parents. This is a must, because family is something very close to our hearts. So showing disrespect to her parents is showing disrespect to her. If you disagree with them on certain points or you don’t want to accept some of their attitudes then bring it up with her in a mature, respectful, objective way. Don’t even think about making rude or insulting comments about them. Even when you’re quarrelling.

9.Don’t be controlling.

Are you dying to know the password of her email account? Do you feel a bit tensed when she’s not with you, wondering what she’s doing, who she’s meeting and who she’s spending her time with? Do you find yourself clenching your fists and gritting your teeth when you see her photos with her male friends on Facebook? If you choke her like this she’ll soon need breathing space. And that’ll give rise to lies, suspicions and eventually a grossly unhealthy relationship. The modern woman has to go out, work, meet people and have a world of her own. If you can’t accept that you’d better start working on your own attitude.

10.Male chauvinist?

Do you in any way feel that there are ways in which women are lesser than men (apart from physical strength)? In that case don’t hope to be in relationship with any self-respecting adult woman until you’re able to change your beliefs. We can feel even 0.1% of female-condescending attitude. If it’s a serious relationship and you’re planning on a life with your girlfriend, she’s going to be your life-partner. You’ll each be a parent of your children. If you’re unable to give each other exactly as much importance as you’d give yourself, then it’s detrimental to your relationship and future family.
Do you think I missed out any point? Leave a comment to let me know. :)

Top 10 creative ways to “propose a girl”

Do you know that I discovered a very interesting fact today? That a total of close to 4 lac Indian men and boys are searching (just on Google) for ways of, what is known (in India) as “proposing a girl”.* Now that’s quite some number.

Photo by P@ttu

So are you in love? Are you planning to propose to the girl of your dreams? For your benefit, in this post I’ve decided to share the most creative 10 ways of “proposing a girl”, i.e. letting a girl know of your romantic feelings for her.

But remember, before you propose a girl, you need to work through your inhibition, and also choose the best possible time to propose her.

That said, on with the list…

The t-shirt proposal

Get a plain white round-neck t-shirt printed with “Sheetal (or whoever), I love you. J” It’s even better to get creative with the t-shirt message. Wear it inside a jacket or shirt and go to work/college or wherever it is that you regularly meet your love-interest. Try to catch her alone and reveal your gift to her with a smile.
The YouTube proposal

Propose to her on video and post it on YouTube. Then send her a very serious sounding mail with the link, and it make it look as though it contains some work related information. You can imagine her reaction when she opens it! Here it’s important to be creative with the message on the video.
The alarm proposal

Get your hands on her cell phone. Set a reminder for 2 a.m. (i.e. sometime in the middle of the night when she’s sure to be asleep) which says, “Wake up Sheetal! Rahul loves you!”
The super-dramatic alarm proposal

If you want to be the drama king, don’t stop there. Set the reminder as, “Look inside your bag!” Put a piece of paper inside her bag saying, “Open you diary/biology classnotes copy.” Write your romantic message inside this diary/copy. (As you understand you can make this chain of actions as long as you want. Just don’t bore her enough to earn a rejection!)
They key proposal

Send a key to her home/dormitory by courier. Don’t give any explanation. After a few days send her a note saying, “Did you receive a key?” Then again after a few days send the final note saying, “The key you received is the key to my heart. I give it to you.-Rahul.” I bet she’ll be in tears! (Assuming you didn’t make a mistake choosing the girl!)
The “boxed” proposal

Send a gift-wrapped box to her home. Put another box inside the first one, and another inside the second one. This is the classic box-inside-box-inside-box proposal. Include as many boxes as you like (but again, like point #4, you know when to stop!), and inside the final one put a key, with a note saying, “I give you the key to my heart.” (Alert: Don’t forget to sign your name at the end!!)
The “meal in a box” proposal

Take the man in the college/office canteen into confidence. The next time she orders something at the canteen she’ll receive a piece of paper on her plate saying “Today you have just Rahul’s (replace with your name!) love for a meal.”
The maze proposal

Get a friend to tell her that Prof. XYZ (if you’re a student)/her boss (if you’re working) is calling her. Make sure you do this during lunch hours, i.e. at a time when the professor/her boss is not in his/her office. Now stick an arrow on the wall just beside the closed door of the office of this person, so that she notices it when she comes to meet him/her. (Don’t stick it on the door under any circumstances!) We humans are curious at the core of our selves, so chances are she’ll follow the sign. Put another arrow on the wall and another one. You can put as many arrows as you like. But, again…remember…Well, you know. :D Lead her to some empty room or any place which is likely to be empty of people. Put a cardboard sign there saying, “You’ve reached Rahul’s heart.” You can get creative with the message here.
The picture-perfect proposal

Get hold of a photo of hers (from Facebook maybe). Combine it with a photo of yours using Photoshop (or get a friend to do it) to show the two of you together. Send it to her by snail-mail with something romatic written on it. Put the name of the sender as “GOD”. Obviously the meaning is that God wants you to be together.
The time-bomb proposal

Send her an email saying, “The 10^th day from today will be the most important day of your life.” (Naturally from a fake email address) Keep sending her an email everyday from that day onwards, saying, “9 more days to go…”, “8 more days to go…” etc. until the last day. On the 10^th day leave a note on her desk with your romantic message.

Now go ahead, pick the one most suitable to you and get to work changing your dreams into reality.

But wait! If you’re planning to propose a classmate of yours, I have some special tips, just for you.

And those of you who’re online lurkers – there are a lot more tips for you here.
For Facebook dating tips and hacks:
How to Propose a Girl on Facebook Part 1
How to Propose a Girl on Facebook Part 2
And finally, for some whacky funny romantic over-the-top ways of saying it on The Social Network:
How to Propose a Girl on Facebook: Top 10 Ways

Got better recipes for wacky romantic proposals? Do us all a favor by sharing them through the “Post a reply” option!

*Source: Google AdWords