General – Love in India

Your How-to Guide to Info on The Fly: Guialis

It was a cosy Saturday afternoon. The hubby and I had been to an art exhibition with friends. By the time we left, our hearts were full with the satisfaction of a Saturday well spent. Our stomachs, however, were far from it and kept pushing us towards the idea of a good old round of tea and snacks, holiday style. After a wild goose chase for the perfect coffee shop of about 20 minutes, we turned to the Wise One – Grandpa Google.

Wow. That’s a lot of search results. But erm … well, not exactly what we were looking for.

We wanted some place small, quaint, not crowded, and not flashy. On to search results beyond page 1 (gasps!) … and there they were. A couple of places which fit the bill – as per their listing descriptions. But when I clicked on the relevant link and landed up on their profiles, I realized I didn’t have to go by the owners’ testimonies. I could read reviews by real people who’d been their guests! … For a long time we’d cherish the perfect relaxed afternoon we enjoyed that Saturday sitting at a tiny, quiet, old-world tea-n-snacks place – exactly as I wanted.

I felt grateful. I was curious about the local search directory without which we’d never have had this awesome experience.

The site was unfamiliar. “Guialis”, it said – a brand new online classifieds directory of local businesses and services. I was surprised. I didn’t know such a site even existed! Its cool, clean mobile interface impressed me the moment I landed on the its homepage. Simple and direct. With a searchbox and none of the clutter that’s usually part of web directories. (Come to think of it – web directories like this should be especially mobile-friendly. When you search for the nearest eating place, movie theatre or shopping mall, it’s your small, rectangular electronic lifeline that you’re likely to be hanging on to for support, right?) On Guialis, I hardly felt like I was on my mobile.

Even as you search (think “restaurants in Oshiwara”), autosuggestion options keep helping you refine your search continuously (“Chinese restaurants in Oshiwara”, “cheap Chinese restaurants in Oshiwara”…)

Finally, a cool, neat, no-clutter results page with stunning quality of text and image display.

I browsed through. From restaurants, apparel, shoes and beauty to weddings and even personal loans – Guialis features it all. But so does every other major local search service provider. What’s the big deal?

Nothing, apart from the fact that it’s 100% free – not just for end-users but also for business-owners. Yeah that’s right. All you need to list your business on Guialis is to register on the site for free. No need to contact the local search provider – like some websites require. And no need to pay for anything. No, not even an “upgrade”, ’cause your free business profile is already the best. ;) It not only allows you to upload an unlimited text description of your business, but also an unlimited number of images. We know a picture speaks a thousand words. And in case of web-based promotion of businesses, pictures also give you a thousand times more page-views and popularity to the 21^st century ADD-afflicted web surfer.

That’s not all. I discovered Guialis is one of the very few web directories of India which allow users to create entire profiles for their favourite restaurants, hotels, spas, beauty salons etc. and share the good news. This requires no intervention from the business concerned. I was really impressed by this feature as it puts user feedback at the very centre of how popularity works within the directory. This helps increase the reliability of the profiles and makes them more meaningful to the entire user-base.

Oh, and did I mention providing ratings and reviews is a piece of cake on this site, requiring nothing more than a registration? I believe this is a very important feature, as an easy rating and review process draws more users to participate, thereby increasing the overall quality and authenticity of site content.

And we all know it’s absolutely essential to compare notes on everything in the world with our friends on Facebook and Twitter, right? Guialis knows that too. That’s why it allows you to share all your profiles, ratings and reviews on social media. :)

All in all – I have my Guialis profile created. I like to use it not only for info on the fly, but also for helping people like you and me by contributing my views on the products and services I use.

What about you?

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post.

It was Me

I was there behind the glowing sun.

Wrapped in secret winds,

The unborn future of a dormant seed.

Veiled by vibrant butterfly wings

Perhaps it was me.

Perhaps it was me in the skies

When the clouds swam by.

In boundless deserts,

My thirst buried in sand –

You never knew.

I was the name of the nameless text,

The untold desire of your desolate heart.

The slave legions in the Emperor’s kingdom – there I was.

You never knew.

I was the fragrance of wild blossoms.

I was captive

In a riot of grass and dewdrops.

You never felt – I was there in the essence of cryptic verses.

You never felt – I was there in the said and the unsaid.

This is a loose translation of a Bengali poem “Ami Chhilam”, by Abhijit Debnath, originally published on the Prothom Alo Blog. Translated and published here with permission.

30 Life Lessons No Self-Help Book will Teach You

After a long, ill-advised absence from the cyber-space, I’m back with a deluge of life-changing advice for the gullible.

Do “life lessons” change lives?

Not unless you’re gullible enough to believe them wholeheartedly. (Hint: The best thing to do with the next 30 bullet points is to not believe them, ’cause if you do, they might change the way you look at life!)

With that disclaimer, here goes:

Life is not fair. (Yeah that’s #1.)
You can’t change others. Stop trying.
Nothing is permanent. Neither good times, nor bad.
Not everything is under your control. Do your best with the ones that are, and let go of the rest.
There is such a thing as sheer luck, and no – you don’t necessarily have more of it by working harder.
Your “ideal” partner doesn’t exist. Find someone who absolutely, perfectly fits the “must have” bill and tear up the “nice to have” one.
His/her looks matter zilch in the long run. Not “very little”. Zilch.
Some days are just bad days. Let them pass.
Take a lot, a lot of time to trust.

Photo by handywallsii

Hard work is necessary, but not sufficient for success.
The only way to get started is to get started.
You’ll never make as much money as you’d like to make. Shift your focus from “money” to “happiness”.
In the long run marriage gives you companionship. If you’re expecting anything more, don’t marry.
Stable relationships are boring ~~most of the time~~ sometimes. It doesn’t mean love has died.
In any situation, respond. Don’t react.
You don’t have to love your job. Most claim to, but few actually do.
Feel your emotions. But don’t be controlled by them.
Your career is less important than you think. Develop other aspects of your life before it’s too late.
Murphy’s Law usually holds true. Prepare accordingly.
Sometimes the best way of winning someone back is to let them go.
Sometimes there is no way of winning someone back. Accept it.

Photo by WayneWho?

Being open to new ideas isn’t always a good thing. Know your core values.
“Everything” is NOT possible. Accept it.
A failure isn’t always a new beginning, a learning opportunity or “the best thing that could’ve happened to you”. Sometimes it’s a big, hairy, real failure with nothing but negative implications for your life. In such cases, acceptance itself is an achievement.
Sometimes the glass is completely empty. It’s called life. You don’t always have to hallucinate. :D
There are exceptions, but in general good things happen to bad people. Get over it.
Don’t always feel guilty about not being productive. Sometimes, live.
You do have a split second before you let yourself fall in love. Use it.
Happiness is the only goal you’re certain to achieve if you chase it. Everything else is uncertain.
Never measure yourself with others’ yardstick. The only real failure is failure to find true happiness in life.

What do you think? Let me know. :)

For You, O Unborn

For you I wait, O Unborn.

My dreams resplendent with hope.

Tiny shoes, toys, dolls … I hoard it all.

I hoard it all, even though it’s a waste.

Nightmares haunt me.

I see you.

“Why bring me into your wasted world?” You demand.

“Do you want their jealousy to burn away my innocent face?”

“Their rage to destroy the fruit of your love?”

“Their lust to spew venom inside its tender flesh?”

The darkness is silent.

I forage for answers.

In vain.

And yet you’re my only hope.

In you, I dream to live.

This is a loose translation of a Bengali poem “Onagoto, Tor Jonyo”, by Abhijit Debnath, originally published on the Prothom Alo Blog. Translated and published here with permission.

Rain-soaked Rumblings of a Raving Romantic

She’s finally here.

With due pomp and circumstance, due anticipation and due carelessness, expected charm and unexpected addictiveness she’s here.

For those of you who’re too bored with my predictable tri-chotomies, it’s our intensely seductive, oh-so-anticipated new neighbour – the rainy season – I’m talking about.

The first evening that the rains really – I mean really really – hit us here in our part of Mumbai, I was in no position to pay any attention to it. Shubho was down with very high fever. I had already spent the entire evening going to the local doctor, buying medicines, sponging him, feeding him and getting worked up in general … till I realized it had silently started. In hindsight, I guess it was silenced by the fever-heavy cacophony inside my head.

Do you see where this is going? Me neither. Anyway, let’s go on till too much thinking gets in the way.

Photo by Bahman Farzad

“My eyes lose themselves in the pouring abundance …

Seeking the mystical faraway …

Was it just the drizzly breeze or your eternal futile cries

Piercing the heart of my lonely day?”

Before you have a heart-attack (or call your publisher-uncle as you catch your breath) – wait. Those are not my lines. Just an over-ambitious attempt at reproducing some timeless rainy melodies.

“Monsoon.” (Replace with synonym in your mother tongue). What is it, really?

Is it just a welcome shower of relief after the (inevitably) volcanic summer?

Is it the unfortunate result of a gaping hole suddenly driven through the sky? (Don’t know about this one? Ask your two year old nephew.)

Is it just one of the innumerable divine punishments for the sins of humanity? (Ask Shubho.)

Or is it that time of the year which makes you feel alive again? Is it that pest of a pal of yours who forces your mind off the important stuff and out through the window? Is it that magic potion which acts against your natural instinct of self-preservation and doesn’t let you close the windows at night, ensuring you wake up coughing next morning?

Have you figured out The Point of this post yet? If not, good going. If yes, please don’t let it slip – I don’t want to know. ;)

Photo by ►CubaGallery

Fortunately for me, that evening when the rains really really hit us was a Friday evening. And incredibly more fortunately for me, the fever (understandably) got bored by the very next day and left. This ensured Sunday morning consisted of just me and the rains. Sadly our relationship had to be limited to one-sided ogling. You see, I wasn’t sure I’d survive physical intimacy.

It was crazy, as it was serene.

It was exhilarating, as it was melancholic.

It was… OK no tri-chotomizing. Let’s just say it made me realize I belong in the fourth group – the “rains make me feel alive again” one. As if you hadn’t figured that out already. :P

I don’t know about you, but I’m all excited. Yes, in spite of the time and money spent on my daily commute having doubled. I’m fascinated by the mythological tales surrounding the Mumbai monsoon. And I’m all geared up for soaking it all up for real this time.

So here’s a big Welcome to the pesky droplets, to the addictive grey skies, to the erratic soaking blasts, to the shivers, to the pensive moods…

Oh yes. Also to the puddles in the street, to the muck, to the un-usability of public transport, to the cough and cold, and to the utter chaos all around.

Happy monsoon ~~penguins~~ pigeons! J

5 Women’s Day Gift Ideas for Your Special Woman

The web is abuzz with preparations for the upcoming Women’s Day on 8^th March. (And Love in India is no exception. If you haven’t ‘Like’d my entry to the Indusladies Women’s Day Blog Contest 2013, please consider doing it now. Thank you. ;))

Photo by movementh

Women’s Day is not like any other Day. The idea of Women’s Day took shape in the beginning of the 20^th century from events around the burgeoning labour movement of that period. The first ever National Women’s Day was celebrated on Feb. 28, 1909 in the US by The Socialist Party of America in honour of the Feb. 28, 1908 labour strike and protests organized in New York by garment workers in which women played a pivotal role.

Consequently, Women’s Day has come to stand for political and economic freedom for women. It’s a symbol of women’s identity, equality and empowerment. Women’s Day therefore, is not a day for your regular chocolates and roses. I believe the gifts you give to your special woman on this special day ought to reflect your belief in the strength and power in her womanhood.

Here are a few ideas I had.

#1. Women’s books

Feminist literature is always a great choice when it comes to Women’s Day gifting. One of the first books which come to mind in this category would be The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf, a compelling treatise on how the modern times have come with increasing pressure on women to conform to a rather limiting and rigid standard of physical beauty even as women’s political, legal and economic freedom has increased more than ever before. If your woman has a taste for a tad weightier philosophical non-fiction you can try The Female Eunuch by Germaine Greer – another smashing best-seller from the 1970s – a passionate exploration of women’s sexuality and its possible repression by our current consumerist society.

Or you can go for something of a more general interest like the celebrated fictionized monograph on space for women as writers A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf.

#2. Movies

Something we all love. Why not celebrate this Women’s Day by gifting (and watching) DVDs of movies which talk about endless struggles through history of perfectly ordinary women who emerged extraordinarily strong and capable as they fought for themselves and what they believed in, at the cost of everything – sometimes their own life. If you’re looking for ideas, the wildly popular fictionized real story of a single mother and fierce environmental activist Erin Brokovitch is a good place to start.

My personal favourite however is North Country – another reality-based account of the long battle (and a landmark victory) of one of America’s earliest female miners against her employer on charges of tolerating a range of sexual abuses meted out to women workers by their male colleagues.

A relatively recent release in this genre is Made in Dagenham. a 2010 movie on the valiant protests of women workers of 1968 in the Ford Dagenham car plant against gender discrimination at the workplace.

If she’s a fan of vintage movies, Silkwood is the pick for you. It’s Meryl Streep’s portrayal of Karen Silkwood, the brave metallurgy worker at a plutonium plant who dared to protest against the blatant violation of worker safety measures there and was deliberately contaminated, psychologically tortured and maybe even murdered as a result of it.

#3. Something special

Throughout history, sexuality has been used as an instrument of keeping women repressed prisoners of their own bodies – with tools as varied as sexual molestation inflicted by a stranger to forced pregnancies imposed by her own family. As a result, legalization of birth control and abortion marked a turn in the history of women’s liberation in this world – by putting women in control of their own bodies. The relatively newly invented women’s condom takes this control one step further, which can be a radical and very thoughtful symbolic gift for your special woman on Women’s Day. If you think you’re up to it, these Women’s Day special female condom deals on CupoNation, which I were invited to check out, can come in very handy. The apt slogan – “celebrate womanhood by taking care of yourself” – perfectly sums up my view on this.

#4.Women’s handicrafts

We feel proud to be the fortunate emancipated daughters of centuries of battle for liberation of the fairer sex. Women today have more legal, political and economic freedom than ever before.

But which women?

Photo by PhotoRipple

Only the women you and I know. The women at the bottom of the pyramid continue to remain the worst victims of the patriarchal social values and consequent loss of freedom, especially in our traditionally inclined culture. On this Women’s Day, show your solidarity to the women’s cause by supporting these women. Gift your special woman a work of handicraft/ethnic clothing/decorative items/homemade snacks produced by rural women’s cooperatives and self-help groups. You can start from any of the Indian state emporia. Or you can try out the produce of non-profit organizations trying to help downtrodden women in a productive way like Village Women Craft or Sadhana.

#5. Something original

Finally, the creative stuff.

You want to show her you value her as an individual? Write her a letter telling her what makes her special, not only as a woman, but as a human being.

If you’re a traditional household (in case you’re married) take up some of her usual responsibilities – by cooking a surprise dinner for her for example.

Tell her to take a day off from the daily grind and do exactly what she likes Commit to managing the rest on your own. Go crazy (if you aren’t already).

Do you have any other ideas for celebrating this women’s day with your special woman? What are your thoughts? Let me know by leaving a comment.

Kissing Under the Mistletoe

Merry Christmas readers, friends, fans and critics!Merry Christmas to all!

If you are in love with someone, and you’re spending Christmas together, what’s the most romantic gift you can give them? Yes, it’s a kiss under the mistletoe.

Ne’er heard of that one? Read on to find out about this special Christmas gift for your special someone.

Background

For the unfamiliar – mistletoe is a beautiful parasitic plant with long and narrow leaves and tiny white pearl-like berries, which is used in Christmas decorations around the world.

Photo by magda.indigo

It’s customary for couples to kiss under the mistletoe as this is thought to bring good luck. It is said that couples who kiss under the mistletoe will get married and be blessed with a long and happy life together, whereas girls who are not kissed under the mistletoe will remain unmarried until the next year (i.e. next Christmas).

It is also customary to burn the mistletoe plant as a means of foretelling marital success. A steady flame indicates marital bliss, whereas a flickering one is thought of as a sign of a not-so-perfect marriage.

References

Exactly how long this tradition dates back to is largely unknown, but some traces can be found in 19th century literature. In his collection of essays and short stories, The Sketchbook of Geoffrey Crayon (1820), American author Washington Irving recollects –

The mistletoe is still hung up in farm-houses and kitchens at Christmas, and the young men have the privilege of kissing the girls under it, plucking each time a berry from the bush. When the berries are all plucked the privilege ceases.

Origin

The origin of this tradition is quite obscure. According to some, the custom of kissing under the mistletoe originated from the ancient “Norse” or Scandinavian mythology – a Pagan school of mythology which continued into north-European folklore post-Christianization. According to the myth, Baldr was the son of goddess Frigg, who, at the time of Baldr’s birth, cast a spell to protect him from all plants, except mistletoe, which she overlooked. Later Baldr was killed by a god with a spear made of the mistletoe plant. Baldr was later resurrected, and Frigg declared mistletoe to be the symbol of peace and love henceforth. It then became customary for people to kiss under the mistletoe as a means to show respect to Frigg and also to remember Baldr’s resurrection.

Photo by Anthony White

Another theory is that the ritual of kissing under the mistletoe has its roots the ancient Babylonian-Assyrian Empire. The mistletoe used to be hung outside the temple of the goddess of beauty and love. While standing under the mistletoe, young single women would accept the first man who approached them. However no mention of kissing can be found. Folklore has it, that mistletoe has supernatural healing powers. It’s a symbol of fertility with aphrodisiac qualities. Historically, mistletoe was also a part of wedding ceremonies and used to be placed under the newlyweds’ bed. Later the tradition evolved into kissing under the mistletoe and men plucking a berry every time they kissed, as “mistletoe etiquette”. Continuing to kiss once all the berries were plucked was believed to bring bad luck. (Kissing was obviously quite a big deal back then and was looked upon as a promise of marriage!)

So now that you know all about the mysterious mistletoe – find one, grab your maiden and get kissing!

Merry Christmas once again! ;)

Your Love in India is now on Facebook

Hey guys – a quick update from my side – we’ve just launched a Facebook fan page!

Photo by craftsquatch

I’ve created the page so that I can share with you all the interesting tidbits related to love & relationships that I come across-photos, quotes, jokes, articles, viewpoints, opinions, news …everything. You’re most welcome to share anything interesting as long as it’s relevant. Also feel free to ask a question/post your opinion to be discussed & debated by the community. So hit Like to join all the fun!
Look at the right sidebar of this page for a really cool little banner saying “Facebook”. Roll your cursor over it to Like us on Facebook.
Love in India is a baby with a huge dream –she wants to do her bit in helping Indians (you) become more open in the way they think about relationships. And in the process she wants to be your one-stop friend, philosopher & guide for all your relationship worries & stories. Only you can help her realize her ambitious dreams through your engagement & support.

Photo by Aaron J Photography