Recently one of my readers-Babblu- asked me – what if I’m starting to feel like I love my best friend? How should you deal with it? Should I go ahead and let them know how I feel, or keep my feelings to myself? Even if I let her know about my feelings, what’s the best way to do it?
So I thought I’d post a series on how to propose a girl who’s your friend. Today let’s take a look at the three key questions to ask yourself when you start feeling like you’re in love with your best friend.
Q #1. Is it real?
Love is a big word. First ask yourself – am I really in love with my best friend, or I’m just liking her more as a result of spending more and more/less time with her than earlier? It’s a fact of nature, that if we spend more time with people we already like, our bond with them tends to grow stronger. On the other hand, if you’re used to spending a lot of time with your best friend, and suddenly she gets into a new relationship/job etc. causing her to spend less time with you, you might start missing her and have the feeling that you’re in love with your best friend.
Photo by silje/vanilje Q #2. Can it hurt your friendship?
Ok, so you’re decided. You’ve asked yourself all the right questions and now you’re sure you really are in love with your best friend. But before you go ahead and blurt it out there are still more questions you need to ask yourself.
Are you picking up her cues correctly? Does she seem to share your feelings too, or she really hasn’t ever thought of you as anything other than her friend? Try to be as objective with yourself as you can be. Yes I know-it’s very, very difficult, ‘cause love makes you blind and forces you to ignore all evidence tell yourself that the person you’re mad about is mad about you too. But do yourself a favour and before you proceed any further, look for clues of her real feelings towards you.
How important is your friendship? Are you prepared to forgo your friendship in case she’s not comfortable in the new situation? In the unfortunate case that she doesn’t want to get romantically involved with you, your friendship might suffer a setback because of the new developments.
Photo by arthur+martha Q #3. Can it hurt your other relationships?
What is her relationship status – official or unofficial? Is she seeing someone? Is she in a steady relationship? In either of these cases, think seriously before declaring your love to your best friend. Try to gauge the depth of her other relationship, if any. If you know her boyfriend/date or you’re friends with him, be extra careful.
In the next part we’ll look at how to propose to a girl who’s your best friend, in case you have answered all the above three questions in the positive.
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